Here is another fun blog to visit...

Here is what I read that really made me get better perspective today.  I was able to quite take this good advise and take a deep breath, and be comforted by the fact that I know, even though I loose sight of it from time to time, that hard things do pass, life moves on and all is good.  Her words were just right for me today, they hit right where I needed them.  Sigh.

And if you haven't stumbled across her blog yet, NieNie dialogues is a great read!  Enjoy!

Merry Christmas, 1984 style

Merry Christmas everyone!  I received a wonderfully wonderful gift a few days early from my parents, a 35mm film to digital converter!  I've wanted one forever and I've had so much fun with it in just a few days!  It was all the more fun that my parents have a few huge boxes of negatives waiting to be scanned.  We made it through most of one box the other night.  There were treasures!  Including these Christmas photos from....I'm guessing 1984, given the approximate ages of myself and my brothers.
I'm so excited to go through the rest of the negatives!  And then my own too, I didn't start using a digital camera until my son was about 5 so all of my pictures of him before that are negatives that can soon be on my computer!  How wonderful!

Anyway, again, Merry Christmas!  I'm wishing you magical holidays this year!

Late pregnancy has it's challenges!

So there are a few things I'd forgotten in the last ten years.  One is that in week 38 of pregnancy rolling over gets difficult.  So does trying to stand up from sitting on the floor.  Or even the couch, and especially the bathtub.

Maybe it doesn't get quite this uncomfortable for most.  I fell on the ice on Saturday and I think the pulled muscle feeling and the bruises make getting around more difficult than it needs to be.  Even walking was torture for a couple of days!  ~Much better now though. Still dealing with the uncomfortable awkward phase though, getting up especially is no fun. 

You know those handles in some tubs?  That kind of makes your mind think "old people tub"?  I wish so much right now that my tub had one of those.  It would be so much easier (since I'm also taking 2 or 3 baths a day at this point to combat both cold and late pregnancy discomforts).  But really I'd like one of those bars in front of the couch too.  And generally just floating in front of me at all times.  That would be a handy invention for pregnant women! 

I have made a few batches of bath salts to ease the discomforts and really just make the house smell wonderful since I'm taking a few baths a day.  Finding little quiet moments to reflect and slow down while I wait for this baby to get here.  So nice.  I hope your day is lovely!

List it Tuesday 12/14

So as pregnancy nears an end I notice that more and more of my thoughts circle that exact topic, this human I'm host to for now and all that goes with that.  Maybe pregnancy obsessed?  Maybe.  And I'm embracing it.  How often are we pregnant anyway?  (not often for me, so I'm trying to soak it all up, every little bit).  It is fleeting, that is the point I'm trying to make, and why not be obsessed temporarily with something so consuming and amazing happening to your body?  If you are pregnant I encourage you to do the same, be obsessed, enjoy.  Your friends will likely forgive you that for a short time most of your stellar conversation skills are about the ups and downs of your pregnancy, pregnancy in general, worries and dreams for this baby, accounts of movements, questions about their pregnancies....you get my point.

That is my little explanation for why my list is about baby stuff, pregnancy stuff, it is just where my head is.  There's no changing it because, my heart is there too.  And it will be for a while, bear with me.
(On that note...only 3 weeks to go! I kind of thought he may be on his way the other day, thankfully he wasn't.  I need more time before he gets here!)

My list of reasons the baby can't come Quite yet.  (am I jinxing myself to have him early with this list?:)

**I know that despite my list of fanstamazing reasons he should wait, that this baby will come whenever he decides his birthday is, and I am very much OK with that.  I am already on his "clock" after all.
Oh AND the name thing....not as much of a problem anymore!  Today a name came up that I think I love, and dad loves it too!  Yay for the possibility that this baby may not be nameless after all! 

Want to list along?  Here is Aimee's blog, Artsyville where List It Tuesday is hosted.  Lost of fun lists are linked in her Tuesday comments each week.  Blog hopping has never been so much fun!

Jen's baby shower

Have I mentioned that my sister in law, Jen, is having a baby?  And our babies are due the exact SAME day?  Not at all planned that way but how fun, no?  So, Saturday was Jen's baby shower, it was so much fun to put together and get ready for it!  I hope she loved it!  It was a lot of fun.  Here are some pictures.  I didn't have my camera in working order that day, these are from Jen's camera.

   The Cupcake tower.  In Purple, for Jen.

The diaper cake.  Jen seemed to really love this!

The clothesline.  I love love love this idea for decor at a baby shower!  I thought it turned out pretty cute here!

Our babies at 36.5 weeks.  

Jen and her mom.  I so love her mom, she's easily one of the nicest people on the planet!  And she let me throw the party at her house!  

Em's Christmas sewing

My niece, Emily has a list of things she wants to make for people for Christmas.  Because I can't share the fun things I'm making without their recipients seeing them early, I'm showing hers off just a bit.  She was finally able to come over and get started last night (and made much progress).  Look how cute these turned out!  And she did every every part of every step herself.  (So easy to 'help' her sew now!  All I have to do is answer the occasional question and keep her company).

Hopefully this weekend she'll be able to finish the rest of what is on her list. 

What projects do you have going on?

List it Tuesday 12/7

Aimee started List It Tuesday over here on her blog, Artsyville.  Want to play along? 

My list took on a nice chaotic form today, because that's what worries do right?  How nice to get it all out on paper and be that much closer to letting it all go.  Away, away. 

A little Dancing?

Last night we had a baby shower for my friend Shar.  It was much fun. ~(only 6 days until baby Baze gets here!!)
My niece Emily helped me with cupcakes, and with decorating the room for the shower and cleaning up afterward.  She was so much help, and so much fun!  But these bears....they are not all facing forward like I would have had them do.  I mentioned it to her, encouraging her to 'fix' it.  Then she pointed out they may be dancing.   Silly girl, but it was enough of a reminder to relax and take each moment as it comes that I had to agree that perhaps I should let go.  Let go and just let them dance.  That is something I'd like to embrace in each area of my life!

Baby gifts from wonderful friends

 

Just thought I'd post pictures of a couple of favorites so far.   Auntie Liza made the kimono style jams, aren't they cute?  I love love love them!

This past weekend my friend Janice gave us a baby gift (a chair for baby) and in the bag we also found a Spencer gift.  He was so excited!  It was a card with a wonderful handwritten note about how lucky this baby is to have Spencer for a big brother, and a sum of money for Spencer to buy 1) a book and 2) something else he thinks would be fun.  I so appreciate that some of our friends are including Spencer in all the baby excitement hoopla that is going on. 
I'm doing all I can think of to make him feel included and make the transition from being essentially an only child for ten years to having a brother living here as smooth as possible.  Thoughtfulness from friends and family is wonderful and helpful! 

Too adventurous. Stop, come home instead!

I'll apologize in advance for the mood of this blog post.  I realize it is kind of a downer, and that is how I feel about it, pretty down.
It looks like we're having to say goodbye to our Molly this week.

Molly is a dog who likes, maybe even needs, to run off and explore the unknown.  This is a problem for a family with no fenced yard.  Or at least this is a problem when you are in a rental and John says no to building a dog pen at said rental and your dad says he'll do it but your dad really just doesn't feel good so when he's able to rest and have a day off you just don't want him to worry about it.  And besides, between you and the ten year old there are plenty of walks with Molly on a leash going on so it should all be fine, because she's proven that she'll cry and yell and eventually wriggle her way out of her collar and be gone if you try to tie her to the tree in the back.  Then temporary bed rest happens and so the walks are much much shorter and not as often as you try to balance taking care of the human you are growing and the needs of this pesky little dog that lives with you.  (by you I may mean me).

And given all of this, Molly's personality is still such that EVERY chance she has off the leash she takes off, for hours, at least.   We like to think she just has a strong sense of adventure (it keeps us from wanting to pull our hair out that our dog is so naughty).

So just the last month has seen Molly disappear a number of times.  Once she was gone for one night and came rushing back shaken and happy to be home the next morning, sans collar.  Our neighbor brought her collar to us about an hour later saying he thought it was our dog who rushed out of his shed when he opened the door.
Then a couple of weeks later she was gone for 3 days.  This began when she was outside with 2 of the kids playing football, she seemed pretty happy to be running around with the kids and the other dog and getting all sorts of attention from them so she was off leash...then once she had sufficiently fooled them into thinking she'd stay with them, off she went.  They  chased her and called after her and she just kept on going, looking over her shoulder at them thinking "suckers!".  So we spent days driving around, walking around, talking to neighbors and to the shelter and putting it in the paper and worrying and crying.  Then day 3~the boy and I are on a walk with the other dog and we hear crying, we are a couple of houses down from ours on the same street and the crying is very sounding like Molly.  So we investigate, Polix dog seems oh so excited about the barn and that sure seems logical because the crying sounds so much louder there.  We couldn't see her, just hear her, until...up above us peeks out a little head from the loft window.  There is no one home so I decide to forgo asking permission to go into the barn and just get on with getting the dog down.  Problem.  NO stairs.  How'd she get up there?  Sheesh, so the boy had to climb up to the rescue and climb back down.

This whole experience made us think "gee, she's been through a lot, maybe she'll decide to stay home from now on where life is easier".  Oh, no.  We obviously had underestimated her "adventurous spirit".  The next week brought 2 separate days where she was gone for hours each time after escaping once while the boy carried in firewood and once when John took her out to the garage with him thinking she'd happily hang out there and keep him company while he worked.  (again she was just thinking to herself "suckers!!")  Both times after hours and hours she came home exhausted, shaking, soaking wet, stinky and in need of a bath, once covered in blood and while cleaning her up we realized much of that blood was hers from some scratches on her face and neck (a cat maybe?).

Really, why would she want to keep running off?  Seriously? Grrr.
Then comes this past Tuesday morning.  I wake up, get the boy up to get ready for school and Molly is crying and whimpering and in my sleepy stupor I think about how much I'd like to NOT be cleaning a puddle and I better let her out NOW.  But my shoes were in the other room, that is where the story goes downhill.  I made the error in judgement to think that I could let her out the front door, walk into the next room to slip on my shoes and grab the leash and meet her outside.  Less than a minute, surely she'd still be taking care of business close by.  Nope, she was long gone when I went out less than a minute later.   We haven't seen her since.  We've driven around looking, we've walked and called and questioned neighbors, she's in the paper again and we've checked the shelter and she's on their list of missing animals.  Today flyers will go up.  But its cold out there, oh so very cold and snowy and she's so tiny.  And its been days.

My  mood about the whole thing swings from sobbing and worrying and just wanting her home, to rage.  Dummy head dog!  Why can't she just stay home?!  But mostly just crying and worrying. 


If you see her, send her home.  Her people are worried and miss her.  Polix may have a nervous breakdown without her.


****UPDATE***   Obviously Molly reads this blog.  Within an hour of posting it she came knocking at the door.  Crazy dog, I'd beat her if I weren't so happy she's home!

List it Tuesday 11/17

I've been meaning to play along since the first Tuesday Aimee started List it Tuesday.  Somehow Tuesday always ends before I get around to it!  Not today though.  Here is my list.  And here is the link to Aimee's blog, Artsyville,  to go read her's and follow her links to see everyone else's lists today.

Indecisive?  Who, me?  Ok, perhaps.  Now and then.  It feels like a time for 'to do' lists, as there is a lot I need to get done.  Just one?  Which one?  So here is my to do list of more to do lists needing made.  I couldn't narrow down a list but thinking about it made me realize there are a lot of lists yet to be made to organize all that is going on in my brain!  Already I realize there are even a couple more I should make.  Hmmm, off to make lists maybe?

Baby Shower, Baby Cousins

This past weekend my mom threw a baby shower for me.  It was so much fun,  so many people were able to come, lots of laughing, good food and beautiful gifts.  Sadly 99% of the pictures from that day are pretty blurry, the ones that aren't are not ones people would appreciate me posting. 
These are a couple from the end of the shower, my 2 sisters-in-law and I and our babies.  Evidently Leda was feeling left out, not being pregnant anymore and all and decided to pretend it was a couple of months ago and have Gavin be back in the belly. 

My little nest

Here is where I've been spending much of my time the last week.  After a little car accident (with a deer) there were more contractions going on than there should have been.  So for a few days I camped here and tried to stay down and be cozy so baby would stay where he should for a bit longer.
Much knitting has been completed for Christmas gifts this week!  That feels good to cross off the 'to do' list!
Ready to get up now!  Wish the car was as ready as I am to get away from the house.

Finding ready

Only 7 1/2 weeks to go.  I am not feeling ready.  I need to find that ready feeling though.  I'm feeling more displaced right now.  Not where I feel my nest should be.  Still need to gather a few things.  Still need to come to peace with a few things.

Not wanting this pregnancy to end.  I'm loving it, I'm going to miss being pregnant.

Capitol Christmas Tree 2010

Yesterday we were lucky to be able to participate in the festivities as the 2010 Capitol Christmas Tree traveled through on its way to Washington D.C.
The tree was only here during daytime/school hours but I decided to let Spencer miss an hour of school so we could go.  Really how often does something like this happen?  It is a little piece of history he'll be able to say he participated in.  Over the summer with both 4H and at home he worked on some of the ornaments that were sent from Wyoming to decorate this tree.  I think it was fun to see the actual tree our ornaments will hang on.
It was a really neat celebration to be part of.  I loved that one of the bands from the high school was there playing, between the music and the snow falling, the hot chocolate stand and the tree it really was a Christmas feeling in the air!  There were different tables set up selling food and treats to raise money for different programs here in the valley so we had lunch while we were there. We saw friends and visited, we were able to get a few pictures and appreciate being part of our country's holiday celebration.  A fun fun time.
We signed the banner and Grandpa bought Spencer a Wyoming Forever West hat that he was totally excited about (and me a giant hot chocolate mug :)

,

A tiny bit more Halloween

 

Aren't the game boards fun?  My parents made them to donate to the Halloween carnival that the 4H has put on the last few years.  Since they now live in the 4H storage I thought I'd get a couple of pictures.  (In case we have another reason for Grandpa to make some and need a reminder of how these turned out).

Here we are at 29 weeks (last week!)

Last week I hit the 29th week of pregnancy.  I've been sad that I haven't been good at getting pictures of my belly all along like I wanted so the other night when my sister-in-law was here I had her be the camera man and finally got a few pictures.

Looking at them kind of surprises me. There is really a little human growing in there!  I am starting to really want to look at all my pregnancy pictures from 2000.  I wish my 'stuff' weren't all scattered between here and storage and storage.  Or I wish my photos from back then weren't 35mm.  I really need to get them transferred to digital at some point in the future.  I also want to read my journal from my pregnancy with Spencer.  Again, it is something that is packed.  

Today I read that there are only 70ish days left until this baby gets here.  I know I may change my mind before long but right now I'm hoping this pregnancy is a longer than predicted one, like Spencer's 42-ish weeks. 

Happy Halloween-ing!

A fun busy evening of Halloween-ing for us!  Now all the kids are a little woozy from all the eating of all the goodies we made today. 
The menu for dinner was brain and eyeball soup with a side of fingers.
What every good Halloween celebration needs we had:
~pumpkins carved into jack-o-lanterns 
~haystacks
~guts
~skeleton heads
~deviled eggs
~a gigantic bag of candy from Grandma
~The Lost Boys
~The Goonies
~Its The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown
~ The kids made a video about a Zombie and 2 puppies.
I was a little sad not to be throwing the big Halloween party that we usually do every year.  This turned out almost as fun though!  Still many laughing silly kids!

All dressed up, no place to go

Poor Molly. This is what happens to her when there is a house full of kids.  She gets all dressed up.  Who knows, maybe it makes her feel pretty?  I think it just humiliates her though.

Lucky to be the mommy

So much is going on in my head right now.  And my heart. 

I am stunned that time is passing so quickly and that in less than 3 months, in my arms, there will be this new little boy.  I am so enjoying him right where he is, these months of feeling him grow and move have been a favorite.   I am just as stunned that he will really be here, that he really is still here, as by anything else.  As I think about it I realize that as excited and happy as I was to find out I was pregnant this time I was at the same time expecting the same heartbreak that has happened with the last few pregnancies.  I didn't really think he'd stay long enough that I could have these wonderful long bathtimes watching him transform the shape of my belly as he pushes and rolls around, nights of finding falling asleep far off because I'm 'listening' to all these little movements inside of me, I didn't expect him to stay long enough that I'd see pictures like these, or find out he is a he.  I of course want him here, I just realize I didn't believe in the kind of luck or miracle that would make it so.  I, somewhere in my heart, had tried to be ready to let go too soon, again.  I had tried to enjoy every second of growing this baby inside me, thinking it would end so soon. 

And now, at almost 29 weeks, I'm able to see relief, gratitude, excitement and joy that he'll really be here, even if something crazy happened and he came today, the chances of him being OK with some modern medical help are oh so good.

I'm still focused on enjoying every second of it, being as present as possible. As I've said before, this part, where I am holding and feeling him, but not yet having to share him, is pretty wonderful.  

To me his movements are telling a whole story, one that takes up much of my attention and intention, one that is enthralling.  I find that when I try to share it, in taking his dad's hand and placing it where I feel this child moving, that dad is only getting a few words.  A little amazing and loved all the same, but not the whole story.  And I realize that I am so lucky to be the mom.

Not the weekend I had planned

T

This was not the weekend I had planned, or the group of nieces I thought I'd spend time with this weekend.  With all the crazy upheaval in my world right now though, it was a good get away into happy chaos.  I am still sad at what I missed out on this weekend.  But also happy to be able to laugh with these sillies for a bit.

And as chance had it we were there just a day shy of Danica's birthday, a reason to celebrate for sure!