A tiny bit more Halloween

 

Aren't the game boards fun?  My parents made them to donate to the Halloween carnival that the 4H has put on the last few years.  Since they now live in the 4H storage I thought I'd get a couple of pictures.  (In case we have another reason for Grandpa to make some and need a reminder of how these turned out).

Here we are at 29 weeks (last week!)

Last week I hit the 29th week of pregnancy.  I've been sad that I haven't been good at getting pictures of my belly all along like I wanted so the other night when my sister-in-law was here I had her be the camera man and finally got a few pictures.

Looking at them kind of surprises me. There is really a little human growing in there!  I am starting to really want to look at all my pregnancy pictures from 2000.  I wish my 'stuff' weren't all scattered between here and storage and storage.  Or I wish my photos from back then weren't 35mm.  I really need to get them transferred to digital at some point in the future.  I also want to read my journal from my pregnancy with Spencer.  Again, it is something that is packed.  

Today I read that there are only 70ish days left until this baby gets here.  I know I may change my mind before long but right now I'm hoping this pregnancy is a longer than predicted one, like Spencer's 42-ish weeks. 

Happy Halloween-ing!

A fun busy evening of Halloween-ing for us!  Now all the kids are a little woozy from all the eating of all the goodies we made today. 
The menu for dinner was brain and eyeball soup with a side of fingers.
What every good Halloween celebration needs we had:
~pumpkins carved into jack-o-lanterns 
~haystacks
~guts
~skeleton heads
~deviled eggs
~a gigantic bag of candy from Grandma
~The Lost Boys
~The Goonies
~Its The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown
~ The kids made a video about a Zombie and 2 puppies.
I was a little sad not to be throwing the big Halloween party that we usually do every year.  This turned out almost as fun though!  Still many laughing silly kids!

All dressed up, no place to go

Poor Molly. This is what happens to her when there is a house full of kids.  She gets all dressed up.  Who knows, maybe it makes her feel pretty?  I think it just humiliates her though.

Lucky to be the mommy

So much is going on in my head right now.  And my heart. 

I am stunned that time is passing so quickly and that in less than 3 months, in my arms, there will be this new little boy.  I am so enjoying him right where he is, these months of feeling him grow and move have been a favorite.   I am just as stunned that he will really be here, that he really is still here, as by anything else.  As I think about it I realize that as excited and happy as I was to find out I was pregnant this time I was at the same time expecting the same heartbreak that has happened with the last few pregnancies.  I didn't really think he'd stay long enough that I could have these wonderful long bathtimes watching him transform the shape of my belly as he pushes and rolls around, nights of finding falling asleep far off because I'm 'listening' to all these little movements inside of me, I didn't expect him to stay long enough that I'd see pictures like these, or find out he is a he.  I of course want him here, I just realize I didn't believe in the kind of luck or miracle that would make it so.  I, somewhere in my heart, had tried to be ready to let go too soon, again.  I had tried to enjoy every second of growing this baby inside me, thinking it would end so soon. 

And now, at almost 29 weeks, I'm able to see relief, gratitude, excitement and joy that he'll really be here, even if something crazy happened and he came today, the chances of him being OK with some modern medical help are oh so good.

I'm still focused on enjoying every second of it, being as present as possible. As I've said before, this part, where I am holding and feeling him, but not yet having to share him, is pretty wonderful.  

To me his movements are telling a whole story, one that takes up much of my attention and intention, one that is enthralling.  I find that when I try to share it, in taking his dad's hand and placing it where I feel this child moving, that dad is only getting a few words.  A little amazing and loved all the same, but not the whole story.  And I realize that I am so lucky to be the mom.

Not the weekend I had planned

T

This was not the weekend I had planned, or the group of nieces I thought I'd spend time with this weekend.  With all the crazy upheaval in my world right now though, it was a good get away into happy chaos.  I am still sad at what I missed out on this weekend.  But also happy to be able to laugh with these sillies for a bit.

And as chance had it we were there just a day shy of Danica's birthday, a reason to celebrate for sure!

Unexpected treasure

In this whole going through things project going on around here, I found this.
It looked like one that hadn't been opened in quite some time, and was labeled in Doug's (Spencer's dad's) handwriting, so it must have been from quite a long long time ago.
I opened it to find this!

Yipee!  It is a box Doug labeled "KEEP IN CASE WE have another kid BOX".  This was such fun to go through!  There were treasures!  Some of my favorites!  Some homemade by my aunt baby things, some teeny tiny overalls that had been from Grandma Moon, some "grandpa shirts", my favorite cozy blue jams Spencer wore when he was just new and tiny, some Hawaiian clothes from Auntie Jamie, the baby food grinder, a crib blanket my mom made, the list goes on and on.
This was quite a surprise because just a couple of weeks before I found out I was pregnant this time I thought I'd gotten rid of the last of Spencer's baby stuff.  Each time I'd go through it over the years I would get rid of more, and now, ten years and a few pregnancy losses later I had parted with all but the very most sentimental favorites of mine. So this box was unexpected but oh so happy to come across!
I remember the night we made this box.  Spencer had just started to outgrow things, he couldn't have been more than a few months old and there weren't many things he'd outgrown yet.  We were amazed that he could be getting so big that some of his things didn't fit and we talked about what to do with them, decided on the 'in case we have another kid' box and started to fill it with just those few things.  Now, looking through these things it is as incomprehensible now that he ever was small enough to fit into any of it as it was shocking back then that he could be so big to have outgrown it. 
As I'm looking forward to having a baby of mine in my arms again I'm also so aware of how fast it will pass and how soon I'll be looking back amazed that he's not a tiny baby still.  Slow down time, just for a bit!