Saturday, February 11, 2012

A big brother

The big news around here?  This little tiny guy is going to be a Big brother this coming summer.    Mama is a bit overwhelmed and in shock!  (and ohso tired and nauseous, but that is another story)
The even older brother is saying he isn't happy there will be more babies.  But he does have fun coming up with crazy funny names he thinks I should use for the babes.
But this little one, he doesn't understand that he'll be dethroned as the baby so soon.  I can't see him being happy about it.  I'm sad he doesn't get to be the baby very long.   And happy that there are more newborn moments coming to our family.  Babies are always a good thing.
This pregnancy isn't the dreamy bliss of carrying a child that my last one was.  Last time I was thrilled that a baby was on the way, so much so that I was able to find gratitude for even the fatigue and nausea that followed me, and so many other little discomforts and even a stint of bedrest.  And it was bliss.  This time I know I love the humans I'm growing just as much, but I'm less overjoyed at the discomfort.  This may come from having a toddler already, so there is not the same opportunity to 'take it slow' or even take a nap or a bath a lot of days.  Or it may be that a little dose of sanity hit me and I just feel that being uncomfortable is no fun, no matter how much I love, no matter how exciting it is that these little people are growing in me and will be here soon.  Not feeling good is, well, not fun.
And then there is the work that it means I'll have to do before summer.  Like teach Ivan to sleep in his own bed. A bed with both a toddler and a newborn or 2 doesn't sound like a safe or peaceful place.   I momentarily considered weaning him from breatmilk but then decided we'll just go with what works.  Maybe they'll 'share' for a while.

I am soaking up all the peace I can find right now, I know that life will be even more full of love soon but peace, the quiet kind?  It may be just different from how it shows itself now!

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