Our Adventures!

Recent sewing projects

2012-01-13T00:04:00.000-07:00

By recent I mean within the last 6 months. The pink and green bag on top was most recent, a just before Christmas gift for a little girl. So quick and easy to put together, I think start to finish it was maybe almost half an hour. No pattern, just grabbing bits of fabric from the stash my mom has and putting together what I saw in my head. Oh so cute! I planned on doing more for Christmas gifts but decided to go the 'easy' route for most on our list and skip the handmade this year. This year there was a baby that I wanted to hold instead of spending time sewing.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

2012-01-10T00:24:00.000-07:00

Ivan turned one last week. We also spent the week in the hospital. Poor kiddo was pretty sick. After some tests they found it wasn't RSV (yay) but another virus that acts similar.

Our days staying in the hospital made me notice again the good and not good things a hospital (at least this one) has going for it.
I hate the plasticy pillows. Sanitary, yes. And that is nice. But comfort level zero. When Ivan was born and we spent a couple of days in the hospital I wished for my own pillow. This time too.
Same feelings about the plastic mattresses.
And lets not even talk about how you have to browse through EVERY channel on the TV until you get to the 'off' channel because there is not 'off' button.
And there is no one in the world I would want taking care of my little boy when he's sick than myself. But it does humor me a little that when you give birth the hospital staff is offering and offering to take your newborn for an hour or two and you basically have to shoo them away so you can have a quiet first day with your baby (another reason homebirth is the way to go)....but when you are exhausted and haven't slept for more than a day because your baby is sick and you are stressed and worried about him on top of that there is no offer at all from staff to even hold him so you can go to the bathroom without a crying baby. (Just a side note, I finally begged a CNA to hold him while I was in the bathroom, she said she didn't think she was allowed to, went and checked and came back in a full robe and mask and hat and gloves with permission to 'hold him just for a minute')
Also, baby on a monitor, monitor cords not long enough for mama to hold him while she's on the toilet.......NOT a perfect set up. It was a long stay. Can you tell?
And our view, was directly into another room. Very weird. Little narrow yard outside our window then boom, another window. Both day and night we could see right into that room and they into ours I'm sure. A lot of 'blinds closed' time.
Most of the nurses and CNAs fantastically nice and helpful and wise. A few, not so much. And those few made the shifts they were there with us a little like hell. Again, the good ones were GOOD and I so very appreciate them and their willingness and education to take care of my baby so well. By the time we left Ivan had a favorite, he would get oh so happy when Lori came into the room and wave at her when she left. I was very thankful for the nurses who acted like they cared and were nice to Ivan. These are the kind of people I want taking care of him!
I did notice that our local hospital is not at all like being in the hospital on Gray's Anatomy seems. We didn't overhear any staff drama. And that too is great. ha.
Grandpa came to give Ivan a blessing and some of our friends came for that too. It was such a nice thing for them to come do for us, and I appreciate it.

After days and days of being hooked up to a monitor to measure his heart rate and oxygen levels, of breathing treatments and oxygen, of not much sleep and so on, he started to feel better. He lost a couple of pounds, which is a lot when you're one. But he is feeling/breathing better everyday. We're home now with an oxygen tank and a schedule for breathing treatments and other meds. So excited for a full recovery and for life to be back to normal!

The oxygen mask was scary to Ivan, so his toy kitty kitty wore it for him. This helped Ivan get the oxygen he needed in a much less scary way. Good kitty kitty.

They served us lots of goop they said was food. Some of it was good, some of it was, um, not so much.

The hospital gowns for babies were awfully cute. It was worth running out of clean clothes while we were there to be able to borrow some of them.

A day after his first birthday he got one of his first bottles ever. This boy is a breast kid, we were never able to convince him that a bottle was worth considering. But full of Pedialite it was a fun game for a day. It made me laugh that we waited until he was over a year old to try again to introduce a bottle. (He gave it up in favor of a cup before we came home though).

Feeling better, and a little cooped up from being in our tiny hospital room for days and days, we were finally granted 'leave' to go on a walk in the hall. Being free from the monitors was as much fun as running for him at this point.
They gave the thumbs up to let Ivan's older siblings come visit the last night if they wanted. So Grandpa brought Spencer and a pizza and we had a late birthday "party" for baby Ivan. He wasn't very impressed but his big brother was. And his mama was ready for a meal that wasn't hospital food so the timing was so perfect!
I realize now that I didn't get any photos of the horrible sticky tabs the nurse we had on the last night put on his cheeks. To hold the nasal tubes for oxygen in place. (Which he really really really hated and we didn't use). But we found out the next day from the doctor that she didn't use ones for a child. She used adult ones and we were warned not to force them off or they'd remove skin too. So for days they stayed on his face driving him crazy while I tried to work them off with baby oil or lotion. One is still on. But he is breathing better and acting more like himself so we'll deal with the annoying sticky tabs another day or 2.
So thankful to be mama to this little one and so thankful that he's on the mend. Happy Birthday my little love.

Christmas decorations

2012-01-07T20:57:00.001-07:00

Here is what I thought was a great idea for excess scrapbook paper. Scrapbook paper is something that I have a bit too much of. So here is what I decided a bunch of it should become. Fun project for kiddos too.

Really no photos? Who Have I Become?!

2011-12-19T00:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am looking through my recent photos and, nothing. NOTHING. really? gee. My point and shoot camera is a bit on the downhill side of a slippery slope of death (yes, with the computer) and my other camera is just not as easy peasy to take pictures with while my arms are full of Baby. sigh. New goal: put said baby down long enough to take a few photos now and then. Except said baby does not like being put down, or I should say rarely likes to be put down. And this mama really just likes holding him. He's been here almost a year and I'm still amazed that he is here, and still don't really want to put him down. So photos will wait, (as will the laundry??)
My dad is going to not be working for a while. Maybe he'll move with me and be my nanny/and/or camera man.

and so..

2011-12-18T23:45:00.000-07:00

So the photo has little to do with what I'm posting. I just quite like my baby. And my dad. They're pretty cool guys.

and so, there are some not happy things in my world, such as:
~colds. yucky yucky stuffy noses coughing tired sore yucky colds....for me, for my kiddos, for people around us
~my computer is on its death bed. I'll send out notices so everyone can attend the funeral. I'll put a flyer at the post office. This is sad indeed as it has really slowed down Christmas gift making progress. I may give Valentine gifts instead
~my baby forgot he likes to go to bed around 8. Now it is closer to midnight. But he's so funny and chatty and cuddly that this may not be a bad thing

and so on and so on

The HAPPY, lets look at that:
~Happy to come home to find a brand new cozy pair of jammies for Ivan from Auntie Leda
~Happy that gifts and cards that need mailed for Christmas are on their way to their new homes (note, only people we really really love got cards, I'm not in a card mood this Christmas. Again, look for a card from me at Valentines day instead)
~Happy for big changes. Happy for Happy. Happy for adventures (I could go on here)
~Oh so happy to be seeing home videos from 2001-2005 again, instead of packed in a box they are getting ready to make a digital debut
~Happy that I have a heater pointed at me at this very moment
~Happy for fuzzy socks
~Happy that it is bedtime
Goodnight!

I so love this little camera

2011-12-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

Really really love it. I've been reading reviews on it for a long time, since it was in its first models. I am lucky enough to have the Digital Harinezumi 2 +++ living in my camera bag now! Yes- Triple Plus! That means it does even MORE cool stuff!!!! It won't replace my SLR, or my video camera or anything, just add to the fun.
Maybe it is because I'm kind of a nostalgia junkie that I love it. It can give your photos such a vintage feel. I love that it is unpredictable like old 35mm and 110 cameras. I like that you can get unexpected treasures from it. I love that is is tiny enough to fit in my hand, that it looks like a kid's toy and that it makes choppy fuzzy silent video in the coolest color combos ever. Yes, I know my photo/video editing software can take my photos and videos and give them these effects too. But it is a little like traveling back in time (way back to, oh, the 70s?) to get these results straight from the camera!
The artsy possibilities are endless.
Here are just a couple of favorites, these are all from July. (So yes, did I mention I'm posting behind? It is the cool thing to do, don't you know) In 6 months I'll show you what I'm doing today.

I love the grainy old look these have. I also love the crisp perfect look my other cameras give me. But oh, how I love the old feel and cool artsy effects this camera gives me.

More fall knitting

2011-12-05T00:37:00.000-07:00

These little owls are the unfinished versions. It seems as soon as they have eyes and beaks they get claimed by someone and taken to be loved and played with.
My goal is to get some finished And photographed before they get passed on as gifts.
The guy in the top photo actually didn't ever get eyes or a beak and my baby still loves him and carries him around just the same.

Stylish feeties

2011-12-05T00:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is December, and yes I'm just now posting these spiffy Halloween booties. They were my first pair of booties knitted, so mistakes were many (its how you learn, right? :) But Ivan's feet were still pretty warm and festive in them.
A great thing about these particular booties is that they are made from yarn passed on from a friend, no out of pocket expense to put them together. My favorite kind of project!
I fell in love with how quick this pattern works up, and now Ivan and many of his little baby friends have pairs in various colors and sizes.

Happy and Thankful

2011-11-14T10:56:00.000-07:00

I feel very lucky to be mama to this little guy. So thankful he is here.

And happy to be having fun with photo editing software. And happy that Ivan has a cousin friend so close to his age!

Isn't that hat cute? I wish I could talk Ivan into keeping the hat on his head!

In other news, happy for new places and adventures with people long important to me.

Ivan and Grandpa

2011-11-05T12:20:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday to my Dad!

2011-09-27T23:26:00.000-06:00

We love you Dad!!

Lots of this going on

2011-09-26T23:18:00.000-06:00

Support Small Business! I try.

2011-09-15T01:47:00.000-06:00

Supporting local businesses is important. A month or so ago I came across this one.

The important things

2011-09-13T00:58:00.000-06:00

I've decided that things like doing the dishes are much less important than playing cars with these boys.

11 years old! Happy Birthday Skunk!

2011-09-06T23:39:00.000-06:00

Last month marked the 11 year anniversary of when I became a mom. My big grown up 5th grader turned 11! And to mark the occasion here is his list of his top eleven favorite things in the world right this minute.

1~Hunting
2~Mom
3~Dad
4~Ivan
5~guns
6~meat
7~noodles
8~Call of Duty Black Ops
9~Hunting games
10~psp
11~Mt. Dew

Oh yes, this list speaks of my boy right now. If I'd asked for a longer list I'm sure Metallica would make the list, and camping, and watching The Simpsons. And of course his grandparents. And football. And his dogs. Probably Lego, and Matchbox cars too. And a couple of uncles, some cousins. Laughing, family movie night, playing card games... Eleven is a bit limiting when you are trying to name your favorite things isn't it?

We're oh so busy

2011-09-05T22:51:00.000-06:00

Busy crawling, busy getting into everything, busy learning the mechanics of standing and taking steps. And mama is oh so busy cleaning up everything I'm helpful enough to pull out and 'sort' for her.

Happy 31st Uncle Stanton!

2011-08-21T16:00:00.000-06:00

A big gigantic Happy Birthday to one of our favorite uncles, and one of my favorite brothers. Happy Birthday Uncle Stanton!!! Too bad he's out of town for his birthday, I know my boys would love to celebrate with him. Well, Ivan would love to just stare at him with his eyebrows all scrunched up, because thats what he does. Yep, Ivan has quite a way of communicating with Uncle Stanton.

River of Chocolate

2011-08-21T00:49:00.000-06:00

Spencer wanted to take Ivan fishing. Spencer wanted to fish. Spencer always wants to fish. The snow was crazy so the fishing wasn't great as early as my boy wanted it to be. He had fun trying to catch him some fish. And I felt like we were in the Chocolate Factory. Doesn't that water look like the chocolate river?
Much fun for these boys, and their mama to be outside, to laugh, to take pictures.
Ivan did not catch any fish on this, his first time fishing. Here's to next time.

Ease

2011-08-20T22:29:00.000-06:00

As I look at these photos from a short visit early this summer I try to think of words that come to mind. Ease. The easy way summer evenings unfold into adventures. The ease of Childhood to live in the moment and enjoy everything that is in front of you right now. The ease of childhood to really feel and express emotions as they happen. The ease of laughter.

I *almost* didn't go enjoy this evening, I almost didn't agree when these kids decided to go hunt down pillows because they thought a pillow fight would be fun, I almost didn't find the motivation to get out the camera and go take these pictures. I almost missed out.

Favorite yard sale finds from today

2011-08-13T23:57:00.000-06:00

Found some great things at yard sales today! Here are a few of my favorites:

How cute is this set of skillets? I heart them. I am pretty fond of fun bright colorful kitchen stuff. I'm positive cooking will be all that much more fun with these!!

I'm also really very fond of old (or old style) dishes. These plates I think are pretty groovy. And a set of 5 for ten cents total? Yes please. Thank you!

Really?! This awesome salad set for $4??? I was awfully happy to give it a new home!

And it doubles as a set of baby toys! Perfect!

A couple of old fabric books for the littlest of my boys. A set of Rings for that same little guy. ( I already had the baby by the way, I didn't find him at a yard sale).

And something for the bigger boy...

Spencer has decided he collects glass bottles. Notice I did not say old bottles. Just glass bottles. It is his new "thing". So far his collection consists of a couple of Jones soda bottles, a rootbeer bottle, a whiskey bottle his dad gave him from fish camp, and our most recently emptied soy sauce bottle. Yep, not picky. Just glass bottles. Soon I'll get photos of his collection and let him write about it. I love that the soy sauce bottle made the cut. Hopefully when he gets home from his big long cross country adventure he's on with his grandparents, he'll like these 2 new bottles to add to the bunch.
So all this stuff, and a few other things... for less than $20. Oh how sad it will be when yard sale season ends.

Let's both win Pink Kitchen Aid mixers!

2011-08-13T23:26:00.000-06:00

http://sweetopia.net/2011/08/raspberry-ice-kitchenaid-mixer-giveaway

Go to the link above to enter this contest. For a Pink Kitchen Aid mixer!! If you tell them you heard it from me we could BOTH win one! I think this mixer (in any color:) is what I've been hoping to find under the Christmas tree or wrapped up for my birthday for years now. I think it would be so stinkin' fantastic to win one!
If I win one I'll make you cookies. If I like you.

Oh yum

2011-07-25T14:26:00.000-06:00

Grandpa enjoyed this as much as Ivan did! I wish this was a video instead of photos. The thing missing is Ivan chatting and talking about his food and Grandpa laughing and laughing.
Another milestone. Food that comes from somewhere other than mommy's breasts. Ivan started having rice cereal on June 10. And had Sweet Potatoes on July 3rd, since then some other veggies and fruits and oatmeal have been added to the list. He is getting more used to the idea, but still mostly a milk guy.

memorize the moment

2011-06-30T09:13:00.000-06:00

This morning I was holding my sleeping baby, thinking that I should put him down and get some other things done as he'd be asleep for a while this naptime. Before putting him down I tried to memorize the moment. Really feel the weight of him laying on me, really smell his baby smell, feel the soft soft skin of his hand holding my finger and really listen to his breathing and watch his eyelashes flutter.
Listening to his breathing is but one of the happy sounds my little one makes that I'm caught by. I spend my days listening to the greatest happy sounds I can imagine. He is the chattiest baby I've ever known, he coos and talks almost constantly. So much to say! And laughs so easily~ one of his aunties says he's a very outgoing baby. A friend of mine pointed out that he can't resist a smile, even when he is sad or tired or trying to be grumpy about something, if someone smiles at him he can't resist and has to smile back and talk a little. And oh those smiles of his! They are full body smiles, they start in the eyes, work themselves all through him down to the toes and then back up again.

I know that if offered a time machine a mommy would sneak back to these moments once they have passed.

My lovey boy

2011-06-28T00:56:00.000-06:00

This is what makes me smile. My happy lovey boy. Time speeding by so fast, not so much.
This blog has been in hibernation because I'm busy holding this little one. Is there really a better use of time? He will only be little for just this short time.
I'm trying much to enjoy the moments of my life even though I don't quite feel like 'me' and I've been struggling with depression and such.
Just looking at this little face makes me realize that the most wonderful thing in the world is being 'mommy' though.

Thank you Auntie Lisa part 2~

2011-06-20T13:43:00.000-06:00

So the same day I posted about the baby gift from Aunt Lisa this box showed up too!
We're pretty spoiled by her:) Lots of fun Easter goodies for me and the boys. So very much appreciated! Such fun to open this and exciting to go through all the goodies!
Thank you Lisa!

Thank you Auntie Lisa!

2011-04-21T12:46:00.000-06:00

Today as I was sorting through my photo file trying to decide what pictures I should print next I was reminded of this post I had started but not finished for my blog. So here it is. Later than panned (as happens when you have a baby, right:).
~~I was so very happily surprised when I talked to John the other night and he said I had a package waiting at the house. I asked who it was from and he said there wasn't a return address. When I got there and saw the package I thought "I'm sure that is my sister's handwriting" But above my name was written ~(Gena Moon's daughter)~ so I thought maybe it was from a friend of my mom's or something? I opened it to an envelope, and I was sure it was my sister's handwriting. The excitement was crazy because, first, who doesn't love getting fun surprise mail? and second, I had been thinking about my sister a ton and missing her so much, and wanting to talk to her.
In the box were 2 BEAUTIFUL handmade baby afghans. (and they smelled soooooo gooood too! Like vanilla? a little lavender? Anyway, soooo good! I was kind of sad to wash the good smell away:)

I love handmade gifts more than any other kind, and especially great stuff like this that can be saved and passed to Ivan's babies someday.

Here are some pictures of baby Ivan enjoying his new blankies.

And a little update since I'm posting this a few months later than I planned when I wrote it:) These have proved to be just the right size and weight to wrap Ivan up at night, just right so that after his last midnight snack he'll sleep longer than with other ones! Amazing magical afghans! These 2 and the one Suzy made him are my magical sleep trick! We love them!!

3 generation burp cloths~

2011-04-19T11:55:00.000-06:00

For my spitty little boy I go through a bazillion burp cloths a day, and my collection of them is quite eclectic. I have a bunch of store bought ones I got as gifts that are cute and do the job but my favorites are the handmade ones. Folding laundry the other day I noticed this and thought it was pretty great~ I have some that my grandma made for my siblings and I when we were babies, I have some my mom made for my boys, and I have lots that I have made for Ivan. It caught me as humorous that I have 3 generations of handmade burp cloths and I had to take the picture!
The one on the left is one my grandmother made, the middle my mom made for Ivan and the one on the right is one I made.

Inventive with no crib

2011-03-25T21:47:00.000-06:00

Our boy LOVES mobiles. Really loves them. Oh so much. But this boy has no crib and the mobiles we have are not at all easy to attach to most things (would be super easy to attach to a crib).

I realize there are probably more mobile options out there, that would attach to other things, but neither of the ones we have will. We had to get creative.

One is attached to a shelf above the pack and play. And this one (that is oh so cool) didn't have a home, we have just held it for him to watch. The point of a mobile though from this mommy's point of view, is to entertain for little stretches of time so I can do things that require my hands to be baby free. Granted there aren't many things I do baby free these days (and that is fine by me, holding him is my favorite!) But Anywho.... tonight we propped the mobile. We did a spiffy job, no? Leaning it just so on the carseat, and wallah...a favorite spot of his this evening was right there under his mobile.

Happy Weekend!

2011-03-18T10:54:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my Mom!

2011-03-16T18:20:00.000-06:00

Belated Birthday that is. She turned some age on the day Ivan turned 2 months.
This photo is from the collection of negatives I've scanned from my parents. My parents best guess at my mom's age in this photo is mid-twenties. I emphasize the word guess since it is a bit of a secret (a.k.a. guess) at her age now!
I love how happy she looks in this picture. I said that to Spencer and he said "because it was before you and Stanton and Colin were born". Ha! Hopefully she had some happy days after we were born too!
Happy Birthday Mom! We love you!

Days full of love

2011-03-15T12:00:00.000-06:00

Between not having my computer up and running and having this wonderful new little love to hold and snuggle all day this blog has kind of fallen into hibernation. I thought I'd try to stop by and give a glimpse of what has been going on. Really it has mostly been baby holding, baby feeding, baby rocking, baby changing, baby burping, baby smiles, baby picture taking.....you get the idea.

I know it is repeated so often by all parents everywhere but...I really can't believe how fast my baby is growing and changing! It shocks me that he is growing without me seeing exactly the moment he changes since I stare at him almost 100% of the time!

Our days are full of love for sure. Passing in a blur but so full of love.

Newborn Pictures of Ivan

2011-03-15T10:09:00.000-06:00

Here are Ivan's newborn photos. He was 18 days old.

Since Ivan was the New Year baby this year at Star Valley Medical center, he received many wonderful gifts. One of my favorite so far was an oh so generous gift certificate from Rebecca White Photography (find her here). She was absolutely wonderful! So nice, so fun to hang out and visit with her while she took the time to get these amazing photos! She was so patient with the unpredictable nature of a baby:) . I think her work is beautiful and I totally recommend her! I'm so glad she offered this gift certificate because otherwise I may not have found her!

Aren't these photos just beautiful? ~~ It helps that Ivan is totally one of the most beautiful babies ever, of course!

Ivan's Birth Story

2011-02-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

Time to tell Ivan's birth story.
I started this post a couple of weeks ago, but I have decided that holding a baby is far more important than typing... and one handed typing is just not productive or fun~ so I've chosen hours of holding my baby over getting this story up. Glad everyone is patient! And hopefully the wait didn't raise expectations about how exciting it should be:)

Much about Ivan's birth was a little surprising, first being that John was there. John and I have been separated for a while and things were not oh so peachy right before Ivan was born. I think instinct takes over in labor though and you get yourself to a place you can be totally uninhibited. For me that was John's house (that had been my house) and not a house I was a 'visitor' in (and not the hospital early on in labor).

Let's start the evening of the 1st. I was spending the evening at my friend, Kellee's house, with her and other friends who were here from out of town. I was having the same 'Braxton Hicks' contractions that I'd been having for weeks but as the night went on I was feeling like my back was bothering me and feeling really constipated (a joy of pregnancy). I was progressively getting more and more annoyed at Kellee's brother in law who kept wearing his snowy shoes all over the house and those of us with sock-feet were getting that horrible wet sock thing going on. I maybe realized that my anger at the wet sock issue was irrationally over the top (the joy of pregnancy hormones) and I wanted to go take a bath and see if I felt better all the way around and could get some sleep. It was a little after 11p.m. when I left there.
I said my goodbyes and headed back to my parents' house, where I'd been staying. A quick bath had me feeling much better and I tried to go to bed. It didn't work, I kind of wanted another bath, and really wanted my green jam pants. I decided to head to John's. On the way I had 2 contractions that were stronger than I'd had up to that point. My thought train though was still along the lines of "it is not this baby's birthday yet, I'll get back in the tub at John's and contractions will stop, baby will get here in a week or 2".
I arrived at John's at almost midnight and told him it was time to put his kids in bed. I lit candles and got in the tub, on the way into the tub I had another contraction that felt more 'real'. He got his kids headed to bed then questioned if I really thought it might be baby time. Still I had high hopes that the bath would stop the contractions so my answer was a mix of maybe and probably not. We kind of tried to time contractions but it didn't really happen.
With the contractions I was having in the tub I'd lift my pelvis and rock back and forth in the water, it made them pretty painless (giving me more hope that they'd just stop).
Pretty soon I decided I needed to get out of the tub temporarily to go to the bathroom, it wasn't easy getting out of the water, and I had full intentions of getting back in. But...as soon as I made it to the toilet I knew it really was this baby's birthday, as the contractions got much stronger and faster. I called out to John and when he came to the door I told him he needed to call his mom or sister to come be with the kids because he was going to have to take me to the hospital. He called his sister, Leda, and she came to get the 2 little girls. John decided the older 2 and their cousin could stay home alone for a while.
The things I remember during this time, 1~how nice and peaceful the candlelit bathroom was and how good the lavender oil smelled 2~that I was talking to the baby, telling him that if indeed he decided it was his birthday I'd roll with it but if he wanted to hang out and live in my uterus just a few more days that would be groovy too.
Then the nausea hit. I'd forgotten how strong the nausea is during that stage of labor. So I spent a few minutes throwing up in a towel, then doing it again. (This is the point that the bathroom stopped smelling wonderful like lavender).
About this time the contractions got even more intense, John kept coming to check to see if I was ready to head to the hospital and I kept telling him I would be in just a minute. I was thinking "as soon as there is a break in contractions I'll put clothes on and we'll go". There weren't many breaks and I realized I couldn't get dressed on my own with the intensity of the contractions so again I yelled for John to come to me. I told him I thought my water had broken, as soon as the words were out of my mouth there was a loud popping/gushing sound and I said "and I think it broke again" (yes, there is time to be humorous in labor). (Luckily I was still on the toilet at that time).
All of this was happening quite fast as it was not even 1a.m. yet when John brought me my shoes, helped me get dressed and grabbed the bags I told him I wanted to take.
Out to the truck and I realized I faced the problem that I knew sitting down would be unbearable. So I knelt in the passenger seat facing back. It was a good position for the pain. I could still rock during the contractions (and grunt and groan and moan, which helped more than anything). The drive to the hospital would be roughly 20 miles.
Kellee was going to be our doula and John called her as we were driving (I remember hoping she was sober enough to want to come to the hospital with us!) She is awesome and called the hospital to let them know we were on our way and who our doctor was so they could call him in. She and Julie (who happened to be there that weekend) headed to the hospital to meet us (what great friends!).
I quite liked the bumpy icy roads, they helped the pain, but once we were out to the highway and it was smoother the pain was a bit worse.
With all the moaning I was doing I was feeling pretty wimpy. I remember thinking that John was probably rolling his eyes at what a fuss I was making. (I asked him later and the opposite is true. He thinks I'm pretty tough.) Also at that time I was feeling totally bummed because I was thinking to myself that there was no way I would be able to have an all natural birth this time because the pain was so very awful and we weren't even to the hospital yet. Then just a minute or two later (when we were near the Auburn turn for those of you who know the area) I felt like I was going to have to push, when I shared this news with John he calmly said "don't push". Good advise. So I tried not to. Then the next contraction hit. My body took over and I couldn't not push. By the time we were in Grover (just a few miles later) I realized the pushing was productive. I put my hand in my pj pants and felt and indeed there was a head!
I told John the head was almost out (I think he thought I was just being dramatic about the pain) He kept telling me that we were almost there. When I finally looked up and out the window I felt like we were still oh so far away, just getting to Afton and the hospital is way over on the other side (which is really only a couple of miles, if that, but during labor, with a head already birthed, it felt oh soooo far away).
What felt like a long long time but was really only a few minutes we pulled up at the emergency entrance and John went in to tell them we were there. In the quiet alone waiting for him to come back I wanted to just stay there in the peaceful quiet I wanted to just have the baby. Out came a CNA with a wheel chair and John opened the door and the both of them encouraged me to get into said wheel chair. This seemed insane to me since his head was already OUT! They were saying I needed to get inside. At that moment it felt like they were asking the impossible of me. I was in the MIDDLE of birthing a baby and they wanted me to go this long far far distance from entrance of hospital to a room??!? Seriously? I just wanted them to leave me alone in the truck so I could finish giving birth. I was pretty open about the fact that I couldn't do what they were asking so John lifted me out of the truck, my slip on shoes had long fallen off so I'm standing barefoot with a baby half out of me and the temperature was negative 14 degrees. John wanted to get my shoes but I didn't want him to let go of me (I couldn't have stood on my own) so we skipped shoes. Again they were wanting me in the wheel chair and again I'm telling them I can't sit, baby's head is already out. Then I'm realizing that walking is my other option and that doesn't seem do-able so I try to lean/lay in the wheelchair, hand still holding baby's head and making sure I'm not sitting on him. The CNA runs the wheelchair into the door a few times (that hurt) and finally John gets fed up with it and lifted the chair into the doorway. We were there before my doctor so the doctor on call meets us in the hall and asks my due date, I keep repeating to everyone "his head is already out", the doctor asks again if I'm due (I bet John answered but I'm not sure). Then the doctor starts saying things like "lets get you on the bed and check to see how far dilated you are" AGAIN I keep saying "his head is already out". Doctor not evidently not believing this says again, "we'll check and see if you are dilating yet". Sheesh, ignore the mom much?

We get to the room, I stand and take my pants off with one hand, hold baby's head with the other as I walk to the bed. I lean on the bed and put one leg up, the look on John's face and the doctor's sudden urgency make me realize that indeed they didn't really believe before that moment that yes, the head was OUT!

One small push and the baby was out. (now 1:16 a.m.) I leaned up to look at him and touch is feet while the doctor clamped and cut the cord. The baby was still and quiet, which scared me. The doctor rushed him to the corner where he and the nurses tended to him. I kept asking if he was ok and if I could have him. The answer I got from the doctor was "NO!!". That scared me too, not knowing if my baby was ok. It seemed like a long time of me asking the same thing before one of the nurses started giving me the play by play. She said he was fine, that his respiration wasn't great and they needed to get him breathing better but that he would be fine. She told us that his temperature was low but that he would be fine. About this time the doctor says its time to check on me. He comes over, tells me I've torn just a little bit, turns around and vomits. Really. Vomits. One of the nurses is holding a towel for him. He says at this time to me "It isn't you, I've been sick since ten". Really?!?!?! Why are you in here with my minutes old baby?!
The nurses encourage him to leave, telling him that they'll be able to handle everything just fine until Dr. Morgan gets there. He leaves, the nurses apologize for him saying he has a horrible flu and has been sick for hours. Nice, great. Sheesh. (but a comical bit in the story, no?)
Finally they hand me my baby, my beautiful (but bruised) baby. I get to look at him, cry, feed him for the first time, tell him I've waited so very long for him, how happy I am to meet him. Bliss.

So there it is, for the most part. My doctor got there (messy hair and in pjs), checked on us, gave me a couple of stitches and went to the next room to deliver another baby. I got up and showered while the nurses brought in everything to weigh and measure baby, John took pictures. John had called my parents and they were on their way. Kellee and Julie came in to see us (Kel was awfully disappointed to have missed helping me birth Ivan, she was all prepared with oils and ready to rub my feet and my back~I invited her to do those things anyway:)
To get Ivan's temperature up I held him skin to skin for about a half hour. My parents came in for a few minutes then everyone went home and we were moved to a recovery room. I spent the rest of the night (morning) cuddling Ivan, feeding him, and just staring at him. Amazed he's really here.

Ivan Stanley~ 7 pounds 9 ounces~ 20.5 inches long. January 2, 2011~1:16 a.m.

New Year's Baby 2011

2011-01-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ivan Stanley is here! He arrived January 2. He is pretty much the coolest thing ever! I'm in love. I'll be back to share his whole crazy wonderful birth story another day when sleep isn't calling quite so strongly to me.
I hope your New Years was wonderful too!

Here is another fun blog to visit...

2010-12-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

Here is what I read that really made me get better perspective today. I was able to quite take this good advise and take a deep breath, and be comforted by the fact that I know, even though I loose sight of it from time to time, that hard things do pass, life moves on and all is good. Her words were just right for me today, they hit right where I needed them. Sigh.

And if you haven't stumbled across her blog yet, NieNie dialogues is a great read! Enjoy!

Merry Christmas, 1984 style

2010-12-24T23:48:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I received a wonderfully wonderful gift a few days early from my parents, a 35mm film to digital converter! I've wanted one forever and I've had so much fun with it in just a few days! It was all the more fun that my parents have a few huge boxes of negatives waiting to be scanned. We made it through most of one box the other night. There were treasures! Including these Christmas photos from....I'm guessing 1984, given the approximate ages of myself and my brothers.
I'm so excited to go through the rest of the negatives! And then my own too, I didn't start using a digital camera until my son was about 5 so all of my pictures of him before that are negatives that can soon be on my computer! How wonderful!

Anyway, again, Merry Christmas! I'm wishing you magical holidays this year!

Late pregnancy has it's challenges!

2010-12-21T16:34:00.001-07:00

So there are a few things I'd forgotten in the last ten years. One is that in week 38 of pregnancy rolling over gets difficult. So does trying to stand up from sitting on the floor. Or even the couch, and especially the bathtub.

Maybe it doesn't get quite this uncomfortable for most. I fell on the ice on Saturday and I think the pulled muscle feeling and the bruises make getting around more difficult than it needs to be. Even walking was torture for a couple of days! ~Much better now though. Still dealing with the uncomfortable awkward phase though, getting up especially is no fun.

You know those handles in some tubs? That kind of makes your mind think "old people tub"? I wish so much right now that my tub had one of those. It would be so much easier (since I'm also taking 2 or 3 baths a day at this point to combat both cold and late pregnancy discomforts). But really I'd like one of those bars in front of the couch too. And generally just floating in front of me at all times. That would be a handy invention for pregnant women!

I have made a few batches of bath salts to ease the discomforts and really just make the house smell wonderful since I'm taking a few baths a day. Finding little quiet moments to reflect and slow down while I wait for this baby to get here. So nice. I hope your day is lovely!

List it Tuesday 12/14

2010-12-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

So as pregnancy nears an end I notice that more and more of my thoughts circle that exact topic, this human I'm host to for now and all that goes with that. Maybe pregnancy obsessed? Maybe. And I'm embracing it. How often are we pregnant anyway? (not often for me, so I'm trying to soak it all up, every little bit). It is fleeting, that is the point I'm trying to make, and why not be obsessed temporarily with something so consuming and amazing happening to your body? If you are pregnant I encourage you to do the same, be obsessed, enjoy. Your friends will likely forgive you that for a short time most of your stellar conversation skills are about the ups and downs of your pregnancy, pregnancy in general, worries and dreams for this baby, accounts of movements, questions about their pregnancies....you get my point.

That is my little explanation for why my list is about baby stuff, pregnancy stuff, it is just where my head is. There's no changing it because, my heart is there too. And it will be for a while, bear with me.
(On that note...only 3 weeks to go! I kind of thought he may be on his way the other day, thankfully he wasn't. I need more time before he gets here!)

My list of reasons the baby can't come Quite yet. (am I jinxing myself to have him early with this list?:)

**I know that despite my list of fanstamazing reasons he should wait, that this baby will come whenever he decides his birthday is, and I am very much OK with that. I am already on his "clock" after all.
Oh AND the name thing....not as much of a problem anymore! Today a name came up that I think I love, and dad loves it too! Yay for the possibility that this baby may not be nameless after all!

Want to list along? Here is Aimee's blog, Artsyville where List It Tuesday is hosted. Lost of fun lists are linked in her Tuesday comments each week. Blog hopping has never been so much fun!

Jen's baby shower

2010-12-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned that my sister in law, Jen, is having a baby? And our babies are due the exact SAME day? Not at all planned that way but how fun, no? So, Saturday was Jen's baby shower, it was so much fun to put together and get ready for it! I hope she loved it! It was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures. I didn't have my camera in working order that day, these are from Jen's camera.

The Cupcake tower. In Purple, for Jen.

The diaper cake. Jen seemed to really love this!

The clothesline. I love love love this idea for decor at a baby shower! I thought it turned out pretty cute here!

Our babies at 36.5 weeks.

Jen and her mom. I so love her mom, she's easily one of the nicest people on the planet! And she let me throw the party at her house!

Em's Christmas sewing

2010-12-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

My niece, Emily has a list of things she wants to make for people for Christmas. Because I can't share the fun things I'm making without their recipients seeing them early, I'm showing hers off just a bit. She was finally able to come over and get started last night (and made much progress). Look how cute these turned out! And she did every every part of every step herself. (So easy to 'help' her sew now! All I have to do is answer the occasional question and keep her company).

Hopefully this weekend she'll be able to finish the rest of what is on her list.

What projects do you have going on?

List it Tuesday 12/7

2010-12-07T22:15:00.000-07:00

Aimee started List It Tuesday over here on her blog, Artsyville. Want to play along?

My list took on a nice chaotic form today, because that's what worries do right? How nice to get it all out on paper and be that much closer to letting it all go. Away, away.

A little Dancing?

2010-11-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

Last night we had a baby shower for my friend Shar. It was much fun. ~(only 6 days until baby Baze gets here!!)
My niece Emily helped me with cupcakes, and with decorating the room for the shower and cleaning up afterward. She was so much help, and so much fun! But these bears....they are not all facing forward like I would have had them do. I mentioned it to her, encouraging her to 'fix' it. Then she pointed out they may be dancing. Silly girl, but it was enough of a reminder to relax and take each moment as it comes that I had to agree that perhaps I should let go. Let go and just let them dance. That is something I'd like to embrace in each area of my life!

Baby gifts from wonderful friends

2010-11-23T07:46:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd post pictures of a couple of favorites so far. Auntie Liza made the kimono style jams, aren't they cute? I love love love them!

This past weekend my friend Janice gave us a baby gift (a chair for baby) and in the bag we also found a Spencer gift. He was so excited! It was a card with a wonderful handwritten note about how lucky this baby is to have Spencer for a big brother, and a sum of money for Spencer to buy 1) a book and 2) something else he thinks would be fun. I so appreciate that some of our friends are including Spencer in all the baby excitement hoopla that is going on.
I'm doing all I can think of to make him feel included and make the transition from being essentially an only child for ten years to having a brother living here as smooth as possible. Thoughtfulness from friends and family is wonderful and helpful!

Too adventurous. Stop, come home instead!

2010-11-19T08:17:00.001-07:00

I'll apologize in advance for the mood of this blog post. I realize it is kind of a downer, and that is how I feel about it, pretty down.
It looks like we're having to say goodbye to our Molly this week.

Molly is a dog who likes, maybe even needs, to run off and explore the unknown. This is a problem for a family with no fenced yard. Or at least this is a problem when you are in a rental and John says no to building a dog pen at said rental and your dad says he'll do it but your dad really just doesn't feel good so when he's able to rest and have a day off you just don't want him to worry about it. And besides, between you and the ten year old there are plenty of walks with Molly on a leash going on so it should all be fine, because she's proven that she'll cry and yell and eventually wriggle her way out of her collar and be gone if you try to tie her to the tree in the back. Then temporary bed rest happens and so the walks are much much shorter and not as often as you try to balance taking care of the human you are growing and the needs of this pesky little dog that lives with you. (by you I may mean me).

And given all of this, Molly's personality is still such that EVERY chance she has off the leash she takes off, for hours, at least.   We like to think she just has a strong sense of adventure (it keeps us from wanting to pull our hair out that our dog is so naughty).

So just the last month has seen Molly disappear a number of times. Once she was gone for one night and came rushing back shaken and happy to be home the next morning, sans collar. Our neighbor brought her collar to us about an hour later saying he thought it was our dog who rushed out of his shed when he opened the door.
Then a couple of weeks later she was gone for 3 days. This began when she was outside with 2 of the kids playing football, she seemed pretty happy to be running around with the kids and the other dog and getting all sorts of attention from them so she was off leash...then once she had sufficiently fooled them into thinking she'd stay with them, off she went. They chased her and called after her and she just kept on going, looking over her shoulder at them thinking "suckers!". So we spent days driving around, walking around, talking to neighbors and to the shelter and putting it in the paper and worrying and crying. Then day 3~the boy and I are on a walk with the other dog and we hear crying, we are a couple of houses down from ours on the same street and the crying is very sounding like Molly. So we investigate, Polix dog seems oh so excited about the barn and that sure seems logical because the crying sounds so much louder there. We couldn't see her, just hear her, until...up above us peeks out a little head from the loft window. There is no one home so I decide to forgo asking permission to go into the barn and just get on with getting the dog down. Problem. NO stairs. How'd she get up there? Sheesh, so the boy had to climb up to the rescue and climb back down.

This whole experience made us think "gee, she's been through a lot, maybe she'll decide to stay home from now on where life is easier". Oh, no. We obviously had underestimated her "adventurous spirit". The next week brought 2 separate days where she was gone for hours each time after escaping once while the boy carried in firewood and once when John took her out to the garage with him thinking she'd happily hang out there and keep him company while he worked. (again she was just thinking to herself "suckers!!") Both times after hours and hours she came home exhausted, shaking, soaking wet, stinky and in need of a bath, once covered in blood and while cleaning her up we realized much of that blood was hers from some scratches on her face and neck (a cat maybe?).

Really, why would she want to keep running off? Seriously? Grrr.
Then comes this past Tuesday morning. I wake up, get the boy up to get ready for school and Molly is crying and whimpering and in my sleepy stupor I think about how much I'd like to NOT be cleaning a puddle and I better let her out NOW. But my shoes were in the other room, that is where the story goes downhill. I made the error in judgement to think that I could let her out the front door, walk into the next room to slip on my shoes and grab the leash and meet her outside. Less than a minute, surely she'd still be taking care of business close by. Nope, she was long gone when I went out less than a minute later.   We haven't seen her since. We've driven around looking, we've walked and called and questioned neighbors, she's in the paper again and we've checked the shelter and she's on their list of missing animals. Today flyers will go up. But its cold out there, oh so very cold and snowy and she's so tiny. And its been days.

My mood about the whole thing swings from sobbing and worrying and just wanting her home, to rage. Dummy head dog! Why can't she just stay home?! But mostly just crying and worrying.

If you see her, send her home. Her people are worried and miss her. Polix may have a nervous breakdown without her.

****UPDATE***   Obviously Molly reads this blog. Within an hour of posting it she came knocking at the door. Crazy dog, I'd beat her if I weren't so happy she's home!

List it Tuesday 11/17

2010-11-17T10:52:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning to play along since the first Tuesday Aimee started List it Tuesday. Somehow Tuesday always ends before I get around to it! Not today though. Here is my list. And here is the link to Aimee's blog, Artsyville, to go read her's and follow her links to see everyone else's lists today.

Indecisive? Who, me? Ok, perhaps. Now and then. It feels like a time for 'to do' lists, as there is a lot I need to get done. Just one? Which one? So here is my to do list of more to do lists needing made. I couldn't narrow down a list but thinking about it made me realize there are a lot of lists yet to be made to organize all that is going on in my brain! Already I realize there are even a couple more I should make. Hmmm, off to make lists maybe?

Baby Shower, Baby Cousins

2010-11-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my mom threw a baby shower for me. It was so much fun, so many people were able to come, lots of laughing, good food and beautiful gifts. Sadly 99% of the pictures from that day are pretty blurry, the ones that aren't are not ones people would appreciate me posting.
These are a couple from the end of the shower, my 2 sisters-in-law and I and our babies. Evidently Leda was feeling left out, not being pregnant anymore and all and decided to pretend it was a couple of months ago and have Gavin be back in the belly.

My little nest

2010-11-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

Here is where I've been spending much of my time the last week. After a little car accident (with a deer) there were more contractions going on than there should have been. So for a few days I camped here and tried to stay down and be cozy so baby would stay where he should for a bit longer.
Much knitting has been completed for Christmas gifts this week! That feels good to cross off the 'to do' list!
Ready to get up now! Wish the car was as ready as I am to get away from the house.

Finding ready

2010-11-14T14:15:00.000-07:00

Only 7 1/2 weeks to go. I am not feeling ready. I need to find that ready feeling though. I'm feeling more displaced right now. Not where I feel my nest should be. Still need to gather a few things. Still need to come to peace with a few things.

Not wanting this pregnancy to end. I'm loving it, I'm going to miss being pregnant.

Capitol Christmas Tree 2010

2010-11-11T15:46:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we were lucky to be able to participate in the festivities as the 2010 Capitol Christmas Tree traveled through on its way to Washington D.C.
The tree was only here during daytime/school hours but I decided to let Spencer miss an hour of school so we could go. Really how often does something like this happen? It is a little piece of history he'll be able to say he participated in. Over the summer with both 4H and at home he worked on some of the ornaments that were sent from Wyoming to decorate this tree. I think it was fun to see the actual tree our ornaments will hang on.
It was a really neat celebration to be part of. I loved that one of the bands from the high school was there playing, between the music and the snow falling, the hot chocolate stand and the tree it really was a Christmas feeling in the air! There were different tables set up selling food and treats to raise money for different programs here in the valley so we had lunch while we were there. We saw friends and visited, we were able to get a few pictures and appreciate being part of our country's holiday celebration. A fun fun time.
We signed the banner and Grandpa bought Spencer a Wyoming Forever West hat that he was totally excited about (and me a giant hot chocolate mug :)

A tiny bit more Halloween

2010-10-31T22:00:00.004-06:00

Aren't the game boards fun? My parents made them to donate to the Halloween carnival that the 4H has put on the last few years. Since they now live in the 4H storage I thought I'd get a couple of pictures. (In case we have another reason for Grandpa to make some and need a reminder of how these turned out).

Here we are at 29 weeks (last week!)

2010-10-25T14:51:00.000-06:00

Last week I hit the 29th week of pregnancy. I've been sad that I haven't been good at getting pictures of my belly all along like I wanted so the other night when my sister-in-law was here I had her be the camera man and finally got a few pictures.

Looking at them kind of surprises me. There is really a little human growing in there! I am starting to really want to look at all my pregnancy pictures from 2000. I wish my 'stuff' weren't all scattered between here and storage and storage. Or I wish my photos from back then weren't 35mm. I really need to get them transferred to digital at some point in the future. I also want to read my journal from my pregnancy with Spencer. Again, it is something that is packed.

Today I read that there are only 70ish days left until this baby gets here. I know I may change my mind before long but right now I'm hoping this pregnancy is a longer than predicted one, like Spencer's 42-ish weeks.

Happy Halloween-ing!

2010-10-23T23:05:00.000-06:00

A fun busy evening of Halloween-ing for us! Now all the kids are a little woozy from all the eating of all the goodies we made today.
The menu for dinner was brain and eyeball soup with a side of fingers.
What every good Halloween celebration needs we had:
~pumpkins carved into jack-o-lanterns
~haystacks
~guts
~skeleton heads
~deviled eggs
~a gigantic bag of candy from Grandma
~The Lost Boys
~The Goonies
~Its The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown
~ The kids made a video about a Zombie and 2 puppies.
I was a little sad not to be throwing the big Halloween party that we usually do every year. This turned out almost as fun though! Still many laughing silly kids!

All dressed up, no place to go

2010-10-23T11:58:00.000-06:00

Poor Molly. This is what happens to her when there is a house full of kids. She gets all dressed up. Who knows, maybe it makes her feel pretty? I think it just humiliates her though.

Lucky to be the mommy

2010-10-17T16:04:00.000-06:00

So much is going on in my head right now. And my heart.

I am stunned that time is passing so quickly and that in less than 3 months, in my arms, there will be this new little boy. I am so enjoying him right where he is, these months of feeling him grow and move have been a favorite. I am just as stunned that he will really be here, that he really is still here, as by anything else. As I think about it I realize that as excited and happy as I was to find out I was pregnant this time I was at the same time expecting the same heartbreak that has happened with the last few pregnancies. I didn't really think he'd stay long enough that I could have these wonderful long bathtimes watching him transform the shape of my belly as he pushes and rolls around, nights of finding falling asleep far off because I'm 'listening' to all these little movements inside of me, I didn't expect him to stay long enough that I'd see pictures like these, or find out he is a he. I of course want him here, I just realize I didn't believe in the kind of luck or miracle that would make it so. I, somewhere in my heart, had tried to be ready to let go too soon, again. I had tried to enjoy every second of growing this baby inside me, thinking it would end so soon.

And now, at almost 29 weeks, I'm able to see relief, gratitude, excitement and joy that he'll really be here, even if something crazy happened and he came today, the chances of him being OK with some modern medical help are oh so good.

I'm still focused on enjoying every second of it, being as present as possible. As I've said before, this part, where I am holding and feeling him, but not yet having to share him, is pretty wonderful.

To me his movements are telling a whole story, one that takes up much of my attention and intention, one that is enthralling. I find that when I try to share it, in taking his dad's hand and placing it where I feel this child moving, that dad is only getting a few words. A little amazing and loved all the same, but not the whole story. And I realize that I am so lucky to be the mom.

Not the weekend I had planned

2010-10-14T09:57:00.003-06:00

This was not the weekend I had planned, or the group of nieces I thought I'd spend time with this weekend. With all the crazy upheaval in my world right now though, it was a good get away into happy chaos. I am still sad at what I missed out on this weekend. But also happy to be able to laugh with these sillies for a bit.

And as chance had it we were there just a day shy of Danica's birthday, a reason to celebrate for sure!

Unexpected treasure

2010-10-01T17:22:00.000-06:00

In this whole going through things project going on around here, I found this.
It looked like one that hadn't been opened in quite some time, and was labeled in Doug's (Spencer's dad's) handwriting, so it must have been from quite a long long time ago.
I opened it to find this!

Yipee! It is a box Doug labeled "KEEP IN CASE WE have another kid BOX". This was such fun to go through! There were treasures! Some of my favorites! Some homemade by my aunt baby things, some teeny tiny overalls that had been from Grandma Moon, some "grandpa shirts", my favorite cozy blue jams Spencer wore when he was just new and tiny, some Hawaiian clothes from Auntie Jamie, the baby food grinder, a crib blanket my mom made, the list goes on and on.
This was quite a surprise because just a couple of weeks before I found out I was pregnant this time I thought I'd gotten rid of the last of Spencer's baby stuff. Each time I'd go through it over the years I would get rid of more, and now, ten years and a few pregnancy losses later I had parted with all but the very most sentimental favorites of mine. So this box was unexpected but oh so happy to come across!
I remember the night we made this box. Spencer had just started to outgrow things, he couldn't have been more than a few months old and there weren't many things he'd outgrown yet. We were amazed that he could be getting so big that some of his things didn't fit and we talked about what to do with them, decided on the 'in case we have another kid' box and started to fill it with just those few things. Now, looking through these things it is as incomprehensible now that he ever was small enough to fit into any of it as it was shocking back then that he could be so big to have outgrown it.
As I'm looking forward to having a baby of mine in my arms again I'm also so aware of how fast it will pass and how soon I'll be looking back amazed that he's not a tiny baby still. Slow down time, just for a bit!

Happy Birthday Dad!

2010-09-27T23:43:00.000-06:00

Today is my dad's birthday. I'm thankful that for today we live right down the street and could spend the day with him. He is pretty much the coolest guy ever. Really. If you don't believe me just ask Spencer. I feel so lucky that I have such a wonderful man to call Dad in this life, and so lucky that my kids have such a wonderful Grandpa too.
I had in mind a few photos of my dad in the 40's and 50's for this post, and a particular one from recently but the external hard drive wasn't cooperating so here is this one. New Years 2010, its a pretty great picture too, I think.
Happy 66th birthday dad!

First baby gifts!

2010-09-27T23:34:00.000-06:00

In the mail a while back I received this package of 9 diaper cupcakes. I kind of didn't want to take them apart yet but the suspense finally got to me and I took them apart to see what everything was. What fun! Cute stuff for baby and for mommy too!
I am loving the little hat with the brim and buttons. I may try to hunt down a knit pattern similar and make a couple more. (Because both of my sister-in-laws babies will need one too!)

Thanks to the girls at the Wellness Center for these fun cupcakes!

This is what all the surfaces of the kitchen look like lately

2010-09-27T17:19:00.000-06:00

I feel like anytime anyone is over to visit I put them to work either watching or helping with this whole canning project going on. And as 'practice' for next year I canned a couple of batches of peaches while holding my baby nephew, Gavin, most of the time. The canning was already in mid-progress when Gavin's mommy called needing a babysitter for him and his siblings so they all joined the fun! My hands evidently were too full of baby and canning stuff to hold a camera that day though.

Peaches, mangoes, tomatoes, strawberry jam, plum jam, peach jam and salsa, Done. Pears and pear butter to be in the works later in the week. Then maybe I'm done for the season. Unless by some chance I run into great late, affordable raspberries.

Blogging and summer don't mix

2010-09-16T21:17:00.000-06:00

Between not having the much access to a computer and just being to busy out 'summering', blogging fell off the priority list this summer. We're back now though! We'll just have to see if anything exciting enough to blog about happens.

These pictures are from a couple of days before school started, I took the boy and his dog out to run and play in the MUD and water at palisades. My car has seen happier days but that boy and his dog were plenty happy to make up for it. The next day the dog got a much needed bath and haircut and is now waiting patiently to come live in the house again.

~A little update on baby: He's a He! We're having a boy! Spencer really wants to name him Lloyd, the chance of that happening are very very doubtful, even though in utero we've started referring to him as Lloyd more than once. Maybe it'll just be a very odd nickname?
He's moving so much now! I love it, these wonderful few months when I can feel him and don't yet have to share him. Last night Spencer was able to feel him ("just kind of" he said) for the first time. It was a good birthday gift to me!

Our Big News

2010-07-21T14:50:00.000-06:00

Things I am envious of today:

~people who don't get 'morning sickness' a.k.a. 'all day all the time sickness'
~having enough energy to function through the day without really wishing for a nap
~people who have the day off today and don't have to go do a bazillion massages this afternoon

The reason these things come to mind lately is because I'm experiencing the opposite! I was going to wait longer to share the news but it seems to be slipping out all over the place anyway so I decided to share now. There is a baby on the way! In early January we'll meet this new person that is residing in me right now. I. Can't. Explain. The. Excitement! So Happy to be growing a human!

4-H camp

2010-07-21T12:29:00.000-06:00

Last week we went to 4-H camp. The kids had a blast. The mosquitos had a feast. The grownups wished they had time for a nap. I came home with 2 Very tired kiddos and a painful sunburn. All so worth it.

There was never a lack of fun things to do. 3 days didn't feel long enough to the kids, they wanted to stay all week, and longer!

There were moments of nostalgia for me as this is the same camp that I went to for 4-H camp. It made me miss being 12 for a minute. (only for a minute).
The kids were blown away at how OLD the camp must be if Shar and I went there as kids (because we're SO very old:).

Spencer, Emmy and I stopped at Grandma Moon's when we left camp. Here is what they did immediately after we got there. (So did I, in another part of the house).
Oh so tired, and the kids are already oh so excited to do it again next year.

Happy 4th and such

2010-07-16T11:54:00.000-06:00

Nothing like a small town parade! Start to finish it was almost 40 minutes long (which is on the longish side for here). Spencer was excited to see his Aunt and his cousin in the parade. I am having trouble posting the rest of the pictures from the weekend of the 4th. Consider this a half post, perhaps I'll finish it at some point. No promises though!

Mary Lynn finally came to visit!

2010-07-16T11:22:00.000-06:00

The title pretty much says it all. The kids had a blast and didn't want our fun few days to end when it was time for them to go home. And me too! I had that much fun too and so didn't want it to end!

See, I didn't forget I have a blog!

2010-06-30T02:43:00.000-06:00

This post is very photo heavy, bear with me! That seems to happen when catching up for the last month of our crazy lives.

In the spirit of 'simplifying' we've moved most of our stuff into storage and we've decided to live in our tent this summer. Ok, maybe not all in the spirit of simplifying. Some of it can be attributed to need for adventure, and the fact that some big changes are in the works and we're at a bit of a crossroads. Camp is a nice, peaceful place to spend this time of transition.
I do have to say that I quite enjoy the "less" I've found this way, which is leading to a better "more". Less housework, more laughing and hiking, less computer and phone and DVD watching, more reading and card games, less clutter and more outdoors time. I'm loving the mornings I wake at camp to the birds and the smell of the mountains and hikes with my son. (Can't say all of my mornings I wake there, some of my nights are spent at my mother-in-law's or a friend's house because I have such a love for running water!). I have been making time to relax when the opportunity presents itself, much time to have quality time with Spencer and time here and there to paint. Life is good.

So far our summer has been busy with not only camping and friends but birthdays, a trip to Utah to spend time with friends and family (we didn't want to come home!), archery, 4-H, Mandy's wedding (how she's not still 12 years old is beyond me!), visits from far away family, lots of time with cousins, many trips to the library, lots of fishing and horseback riding and so much more. Oh, and a zillion mosquito bites. Our days are full.

I feel slightly impatient for the next phase of life to be here. So I'm trying very hard to focus on the fact that the days are long but the years are short. I'm embracing the moment that is now and trying to fully enjoy where I am and the people in my life while this is where I am. Change always happens and it is so easy to look forward and miss the now.

A tiny bit of what we're up to

2010-06-05T22:28:00.006-06:00

A few pictures of our recent 4-H happenings.

Another quick trip back in time

2010-05-20T10:45:00.000-06:00

How cute are these two toddlers (now big grown up 9 year olds)?? I was sorting through picture folders (organization makes me happy!) and came across such fun pictures from this trip.

One of my favorite things about this trip is how attached Spencer and Em were to each other. She tried to hide him when it was time for us to leave so he wouldn't have to go. Cutie kids!

We DO NOT see this family nearly often enough and we need to remedy that!

We miss you guys Evans clan!

Pack, sort, blah

2010-05-14T11:33:00.000-06:00

Or sort, sort, sort, toss, pack, blah. So many changes are coming for us and this month is turning into our "go through everything with a fine tooth comb" month. We're analyzing our reason behind everything we own. We don't want to pack and move things that don't need to go with us anymore. I'm accepting that just because someone gave me something doesn't mean I have to keep moving it with us from place to place if I don't use it and love it and need it and want it (or any combo of these). So it feels like we're getting rid of as much as we're packing away to the storage unit we've rented. (The 'keep' pile of boxes tells a different story though).
In fact, that wonderful, fabulous stash of boxes we had from John's brother's recent move into our neighborhood? We used them all. Luckily we have more connections. Yesterday I went to my mother-in-law's house then to my mom's house (no boxes) but on the way back to my house I pass a liquor store. Liquor stores have great strong boxes! (Many of my moves would have you thinking I'm a raging alcoholic if you were just to look at the stack of boxes...) So I stopped to see if they'd save me some and what do you know? They had a pile right there at the front door ready for me! Then later yesterday afternoon I was at the grocery store with Spencer and Mak and we went to say howdy to John's brother 'uncle boone'. While we were chatting with him I inquired about boxes, he took us to a magical room FULL of them. And they were good boxes! Before when moving I've kind of hated grocery store boxes because they have been squashed, and ripped, and water damaged and such. But these were good ones. So I took a few. Daniel asked if we'd need more because he could take more at the end of his shift, (of course we did!).

So last night my garage magically filled with boxes again! Now we have all we need to make it through the whole move! (if not then it is simply a sign that we haven't gotten rid of enough stuff!).

Back to analyzing our real reason to keep any and everything we own, I find that a lot of my 'keeps' are for sentimental reasons. I've kept baby clothes of Spencer's (down to one small box now, it gets smaller every time I go through it). I've kept baby books of Spencer's (down to a few select must keeps like "Little Sheep Time to Sleep" and "What Do You Do With a Kangaroo?" and ones that have inscriptions from his parents, grandparents etc.). These are manageable keeps. But I also have his first tricycle, a larger, not as manageable keep if we aren't using it. And then there are things I've kept that just stay in a box or sit on a shelf that are a bit sentimental to me because of where they came from but not really my style.......so I've decided I'm going to take pictures of these and maybe make a little book of items with a little story about each, keep the book and part with the clutter of the actual items.

And the tricycle (and mouse ears) and a huge box of books found a home with this girl and her little sister.

It is easier to let things go when you know they'll be loved!

Jen keeps asking "aren't you sad? doesn't this make you sad?, is leaving this house going to be sad?" in regards to our moving, our parting with so much 'stuff' etc. Yep, it does. But oh so happy too!

Mother's Day Flowers

2010-05-12T21:18:00.000-06:00

On Saturday we took the kids to plant Mother's Day flowers. I love little things like this available in the community to go participate in. This was followed by a trip into the store to "just look" at toys. That was followed by leaving the store with a crying 4 year old whose heart was broken that we were really just looking and not buying. Happily he was asleep by the time we got home!
We hope all you mommies out there had a Happy Mother's Day!

New bookbag

2010-05-11T21:49:00.000-06:00

I had an urge to be at my sewing machine the other day. But no urge at all to be very inventive or to measure and cut. So, I made these matchy bookbags out of already cut up scraps of fabric. Start to finish about a half hour, satisfied my desire to sew for now and I know some girls who just may like these.

A little Honey

2010-05-07T16:03:00.000-06:00

How fantastic is it that these cute girls live just down the street now and we can see them more often? Very, we think.
Even though for the most part Karissa calls me "Aunt Liza" (because Aunties are pretty interchangeable right? haha) We love having them here. I wish I'd gotten some pictures of the 'before' of this yarn. Lexi loved it and carried it around for almost an hour just cuddling with it. Then Karissa must have noticed that Lexi was holding it and she wasn't, and these pictures show how she remedied that!
There was much singing of Little Mermaid songs, I loved it!
When I told Karissa her picture looked great she said "I know, because I'm a little Honey!". Cutie girl!

My Favorite Bus

2010-05-06T16:46:00.000-06:00

I have a favorite bus, that's right. A favorite bus. Do you? There is this fantastic old broken down bus near this fantastic old broken down building, in this great field with a bunch of trees that I pass on my way to work. Someday I'll find out who owns it because I want to ask permission to go take more pictures. For now, here is this one.

Side by Side

2010-05-04T10:49:00.001-06:00

Last week there was a day like this. I wish I'd had a better camera with me at the moment, since these pictures do not do it justice but I didn't, so I'll have to make due with these.

It was one of those magical days that you almost can't believe. In one direction it is sunny and bright and clear and on the other side of a very straight line, like it was drawn with a ruler, it is dark and gray and black and heavy. Like two very different days sitting side by side and somehow I'm there and able to see them both. I drove from what felt like one day right into the next. It makes you want to look a little further and see if yesterday's yesterday or tomorrow's tomorrow is sitting there in plain view too, if you just take time to look. Magical.

Less stuff, I want less stuff

2010-05-02T21:57:00.000-06:00

As we continue in the 'rid ourselves of clutter' mode and continue cleaning up and preparing to move out of this house I'm fighting feeling overwhelmed. Actually I'm teetering on the fence between overwhelmed and just addicted to getting rid of more stuff! It feels so good to 'lighten the load'. I know it has been said again and again but truly I feel lighter emotionally as I get rid of stuff. Less baggage all the way around. I love it.

I have downsized my book collection by at least half. I still have about a billion, maybe on my next time through them I'll be able to part with more. Books are heavy, boxes of books are no fun to move! I'm trying to adopt the philosophy that I can part with them and if I'm supposed to read them again they'll find their way into my life one way or another later on. Trust the universe right?

The more we get rid of the more I want to get rid of. I want much less stuff. Moving would be so pleasant (as pleasant as moving can be) with only stuff I need/use/want instead of all this extra that I don't really know why we've held on to. It is a big job in front of me. Wish me luck!

We have found a great source for boxes! John's brother and sister-in-law just moved in just down the street from us so as they unpack they're passing their boxes on to us. See how I'm focusing on the positive instead of how sad sad sad it is that they live so close now and we're moving? Really though we're quite sad that we'll only be neighbors for a few weeks. We'll just have to find a way to make the most of the next few weeks!

Happier Outside

2010-04-28T10:50:00.000-06:00

Yesterday on the way home I decided to stop at the river. It is just right there, on the way, and Spencer loves throwing rocks in, so why don't we do things like that more often? We should. He was surprised, as it wasn't planned and as I have a bad habit of being in a 'hurry' to get things done. It was a wonderful half hour of walking on the bank of the river, throwing rocks in and hearing what is on the mind of my 9 year old.
He thought the bird nests were pretty cool. And when he started picking up garbage I thought he was doing just that, picking up garbage, what a good kid. But no, he found an old coke bottle and wanted to bring it home to wash and give to Grandma for her collection. Still, what a good kid. And we did use a bag from the car and picked up garbage before we headed home, Spencer did think that was pretty cool to clean up, and pretty rude of people to leave garbage at the river. Indeed.

Spencer said at one point "You know what? I'm always a lot happier when I'm outside". I did know that about him, from the time he was a tiny baby. Fussy and upset, we'd walk outside and it was a magical balm that calmed him. Has been ever since.

See my shoes? Proof that it was a 'spur of the moment' stop. Very windy day, and a little cold actually for this foot attire, but as long as it isn't snowing I couldn't not wear flip flops, it makes it feel more like summer!!
Which brings us to this morning....I didn't take my camera out on my walk but here are the views from my front porch before I went on said walk.

Lovely almost May weather isn't it?

Moments

2010-04-23T13:22:00.000-06:00

Outside the last few days for us means cleaning up the yard because of this guy and his friends. This is Polix, I think he's saying, "Hey, how about a hair cut and a bath lady? I'm ready".
Also lots of walks, in the rain. Have I mentioned my crazy love for the rain? Crazy. Love. Really, almost nothing better.
So the other day my son was out playing and he runs in and says "Mom, hurry, you have to see this!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll love it! It is your favorite! You'll Love it! HURRY!!!" So I go out into the yard with him and he just closes his eyes and turns his face towards the sky and says "The beginning of a rain storm". Indeed it was and it was beautiful, and smelled fantastic. I hugged him and told him thank you for coming to get me for it, that yes, I did love it. He hugged me back and said "You're welcome. I knew you'd love it because I really know you Mom." Perfect moments. Perfect moments.

Lets go back in time for a moment, shall we?

2010-04-21T13:04:00.000-06:00

A day short of a year ago the following was my blog post. What has changed in a year? So much that it is overwhelming to try to make a list! But, here is a brief dissection of last April's post...
1) Something not changed and that quite made me laugh is that Colin's Christmas/birthday gift from This year is sitting on the table today, FINALLY ready to be mailed. I wonder how surprised he'd be if next year a Christmas gift showed up around Christmas time and a birthday something in February when his birthday actually is?
2) No more pepsi for me, no more pepsi for me, so no need to wish it into our garden!
3) No attempt at starting a garden this year. Kind of saddens me. But we knew we wouldn't be in this house after the beginning of summer so we decided not to start a garden just to leave it. Also, last year much much much work on the garden yielded less than one salad's worth of veggies so....perhaps a better method in a new location is what I need to have garden success!
4) I still love that quilt and am feeling pretty motivated to get some sewing done the next week. Lots of 'started projects' just need finishing.

And here you have my post from April 22, 2009:

A couple of weeks ago I decided to finally put together a quilt I saved scraps for during my Christmas gift making. (I also finally finished my brother's Christmas/birthday gift!...Now I just need to get motivated enough to mail it!)
I'm pretty happy with how the quilt turned out, I really wanted one large enough for our bed but was worried it would be to "colorful" to work in a format that large. It is our queen sized bed size but is getting a lot more attention all over the house as I wrap up in the couch or at my desk with it and the kids love it and take it all over the house as well.
The other thing we did a few weeks ago is get a start on our garden. It is still snowy here but I wanted as early of harvest as possible so we decided to start the vegetable garden in the living room and move it out to the green house and to the garden towards mid to end of May. It is so satisfying to know that we'll have our own healthy veggies, organic, and not shipped from far away, and not paid for at the grocery store! Now if we could just grow our own cheese...(and pepsi) haha.

Outside yesterday

2010-04-20T13:26:00.000-06:00

After school yesterday my niece, Emily, rode the bus to my parents house and Spencer and I met her there. My parents have this fantastic ranch with tons and tons of adventure opportunities. I was lucky to grow up there and feel pretty lucky that our kids get to enjoy it now too. The weather was warm and nice, the company was fun and tree climbing ensued. Before tree climbing there was an excursion with butterfly nets out into the back field, not many bugs were caught though.
I do like that there is so little snow left!
The last picture is of the tree that our tree house lived in when I was a kid. At one point it was hit by lightning and half of it fell and was cleared away. Yesterday I actually LOOKED at it. You know how something is just there, always there, and you don't really SEE it anymore? That is how I felt about this tree yesterday. This very loved tree, my second favorite tree on the whole place. I was surprised to see what it really looks like. Old, strong, beautiful though, no? I think it needs another tree house this year!

Belated Party Pictures

2010-04-20T12:27:00.000-06:00

While I did post Tia's birthday list and all that jazz, she's still wondering why her party pictures never made it here. She's pretty sure all parties need to make it onto this blog (they don't, by a long shot) but, for her, here are her party pictures. Looking at these pictures makes it look like it was just John and I and a herd of kids (which isn't odd at our house) but 4 grandparents and a couple of uncles were here as well. I had lots of helpers for decorating cupcakes, and yes...all of those are cupcakes. Meaning there were more than enough for Grandpa Clinger and a bunch of the kids to have a cupcake eating contest toward the end of the party (see last picture, Cannon was almost the champion cupcake eater!)

Getting outside!

2010-04-19T15:08:00.000-06:00

Found this little challenge at 5 Orange Potatoes and thought I'd jump in and accept the challenge, as it is something I very much agree with! The link will get you to the original post about it for the whole story. Basically, get outside, every day, with your kids. And so, here we go. Mindfully making time to be outdoors, every day every day (not just this month) and a photo of our outdoor adventures each day for at least the rest of the month. (which amazingly is over half gone...I have NO idea how that happened, musta been a time warp).

Mud puddles. Really is there anything more joy provoking in childhood? The magical part for the mamas of these muddy kiddos is how delighted said kiddos were to have us join them but how content they were for hours after we disappeared onto the porch to listen to those wonderful laughing sounds but ..away. Oh magical grown up conversations without little ears near by. Wonderful.

Breathing some serenity

2010-04-16T19:45:00.001-06:00

This is something that has been bringing peaceful happy moments into my life the last couple of days. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffengger. Oh, and my cozy bright bedspread, in time for spring, rescued from a pile of 'throw away' someone else had. It's making my bed, and my room a brighter place to hang out.
Anywhooo... A while ago I read Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. One of the things she said in there was something about re-reading being one of her favorite kinds of reading. I have to agree. If a book struck you the first time, chances are there is more to be gained the second (or third or fourth) time through.
Since first reading The Time Traveler's Wife the year it came out, while living in my little tiny apartment in Evanston with my little tiny kiddo, I've re-read it many times. I believe this is the 5th time I'm reading it. I always find happiness here, and power, and peace. This book is absolutely in my top 5 favorites. For me, I find myself being rocked on an emotional journey that transcends into my real life and is somehow so comforting and healing. Combine all this with the simple "have time to lay around and read" and oh, I'm happy!
Not, however, much to say about the movie except, I don't hate it. I expected to hate it. I don't. It isn't horrible at all, kind of good actually. Just not as powerful as the book, of course.
Off I go to read, and be transported. Candlelight and bubble bath reading time, is there anything better?

Only butterflies?

2010-04-16T15:39:00.000-06:00

The last little while I've realized that my life, my self, my time, my emotions have all been going in too many directions and at too many speeds and too many intensities for me to keep up with in a healthy way. The past week I've taken much time to pull back into myself, recollect and perhaps heal a bit.
I've felt almost in a fog. I'm wanting to wake up. Finally I feel that my pulling back, reevaluating and reaching for some peaceful balance is starting to pay off. I do have to give much credit to my husband who took care of me last weekend when I was teetering on the edge of giving into the fog and hibernating this 'funk' away. He cooked all the meals, even did dishes, let me hang out in a nest of warm blankets on the couch with my book, rented us a wide assortment of movies to zone out to, all much appreciated by his teary, tired, daydreamy wife. I was also able to have a few long conversations with a wonderful friend that I've been missing so much, that helped a bazillion too, more than expected.
Anyway, point could be that I'm feeling like said fog is starting to dissipate and I'm ready to start functioning like the fully capable person I was a while back! I'm absolutely sure that the fact that the snow has stopped the last couple of days and today actually sees the sun out and trying to melt all that snow helps my mood immensely as well.
Also~I've received many an email the past while saying that comments still aren't working here. I think I found and fixed the problem! Should be working again now. Sorry about that and thanks for the emails!

(this is not a picture of where I am physically, but where I am in my head, where I want to be right now)~ In real life I'm in my house that needs cleaning, with piles of laundry waiting for me before I go back to work, in my still snow covered town.~and that isn't so bad either.

House full of forts

2010-04-11T12:11:00.000-06:00

Natalie's "fort"

Samantha's "fort"

Notice Nat's feet poking out as she was sleeping the other morning.

If I had had any idea how small cage like enclosures would have cut down the fighting and chaos level in our house and make these kids so happy I would have had John out building actual kid cages long ago. As it happened though, the kids built their own out of blankets, pillows, chairs, my folded up massage table and other nifty building material. It really, really helped spring break seem a bit peaceful. Can't say I was sad to see them taken down and cleaned up the last day but I was happy to have them filling the house until then because they made the kids hap hap happy!

Introspective today

2010-04-09T10:24:00.000-06:00

And for days now. So much pain and heartbreak going on all around, so many people around me hurting right now for different reasons.
I've been meaning to post about our spring break, or the kids art projects going on now but haven't been able to get my head in the right place.
I'm wishing there was more that I could do to ease the pain of the people going through such heartache. Wishing my tears could lessen some of their own, as I'm sure they don't, and there are just no words. So instead trying to send love, prayers and positive energy that direction. Love to my friend Katie who said goodbye to her son this week, her strength, love and grace simply amaze me.

On a happy note 2 weddings in Utah this weekend, not sure if we'll be able to make both. And another happy note, Emily and Nate's new baby Sophie was born yesterday! (another reason to make it to Utah)

This morning my small joy was a table with flowers and fresh from my juicer grapefruit juice! (To go with my whole grapefruit breakfast, not sure my husband will be thrilled when he finds I finished off the grapefruit this morning, maybe I'll go get more before he gets home!) Introspective pink morning.

A little peek into Spring Break Clinger style

2010-04-05T15:20:00.002-06:00

Happy Colors

2010-04-05T15:19:00.000-06:00

I was amazed at the speed that 36 hard boiled eggs were colored at our house! Really much less than ten minutes and there were no eggs left white. Nat was very serious about the whole thing and had her technique perfected. The boys thought it was pretty cool that their hands looked "zombie-ish and bloody" after being stained. And how in the world did we end up with not enough eggs to make deviled eggs? Sneaky kids kept sneaking them before I could.

Happy 14th Birthday Tia!

2010-04-03T12:32:00.000-06:00

So post 200! Wowza! What better to use it for than this girl's birthday? How can it be that she is 14? I swear she was just a sweet little girl a minute ago!
"Tooters" was a nickname that at 12 she insisted she was too old for, for a day, then she told her dad that he could keep calling her that for a while but only until she was 14. ~(I'm sure at 12 the age 14 seemed Forever away). Wonder how she'll really feel about that, my guess is that she'll let her dad get away with calling her silly nicknames for at least a year or two more!:)
Tia just turned 14 and here is her list of 14 very favorites right now, in her words, her order:

TIA'S FAVORITE THINGS:

1) Natasha Bedingfield
2) Nachos
3) Pepsi
4) Dena and Dad
5) Drawing
6) Friends
7) Facebook
8) Hanging out with my family
9) Pictures
10) Dancing
11) Singing
12) Making bracelets
13) New Moon
14) Summer

A few other things I can think of off the top of my head that she loves: phones~any phone anyone will let her play with, and on that note-texting-texting everyone she knows, going to movies, laughing, makeup, crazy color highlights in our hair, her mp3 player, girl time with lots of girl talk about boys, the color green, vampire stories, scary movies and scary books. And this beautiful girl is such a caregiver. She tries hard to take care of her siblings and keep peace between them. She's also a super babysitter and takes such good care of all the babies in the family. It has been fun (and sometimes crazy and frustrating:) to watch her grow from a little girl into this teenage creature she's becoming.

Happy Birthday Tia! We love you so much! We're so proud of the smart, funny caring person you are.

Beauty in every moment

2010-03-29T13:43:00.003-06:00

I'm trying lately to live in each present moment. Because no matter the stresses of the future or some negative thing happening in my life before now, or after now, today still brings beautiful moments. What a shame it would be to miss these moments because I'm too busy thinking about the past or stressing or planning for the future. This especially is true when thinking about my life as a parent, as I've written before. Right now though, as much as about my life as a parent I'm really wanting to adopt the ability to see and Live the beautiful moments in every area of my life every day.
When I'm truly living every moment there are less regrets, no feeling like I missed out on life. When this phase of life is done I'm going to miss it. Looking back on each part of my life I see that there are things (beautiful moments) that I miss and long for all along the way. Instead of this being a mournful feeling I am embracing it as proof that my life has and will be full of wonderful things, wonderful people, wonderful experiences that make wonderful memories.

Here is a quote I found recently that I loved. It makes me a little teary thinking about how fast Spencer's baby days went by and how fast his childhood is passing too:

"Parents usually mark their children's firsts-first food, first words, first steps-but lasts often slip by unnoticed. I don't remember the last time I carried my son up the stairs in the crook of my arm. Or the last time I read him a bedtime story, closing the cover of Goodnight Moon when I was done. Or the last time he and I kissed on the lips or crossed the street hand in hand. Or the last time he called me "Daddy". I don't remember because I didn't know it was the last time. Had I known I would have cherished it more. I would have held on tighter."
~Edward Warner

This same sentiment is easily transfered to many other things in life. At least if I'm making an effort to live in the present I'll know I at least lived the moments, even if they were the lasts and I didn't know it.

And here is a song we love around here. It has long been a car or kitchen concert song and my niece Emmy loves it so much that hearing it often makes me think of her. I'm finding it resonates with me even more lately now that I'm really listening to the lyrics. (~I had trouble posting it with just the song and no music video, so if you hate having the visual of the video mess up what the song already means to you as much as I do, then look away!) But enjoy this beautiful song today!

***On a separate note...comments are activated again. I was getting some negative messages elsewhere and know that the person leaving them also reads this blog so I disabled comments for a while because I didn't have a need to have those kind of things show up here. then I realized how easy the delete button is to use:) So I'd love to read your comments again!~~Happy day everyone!

Happy Birthday Mother-In-Law of mine!

2010-03-26T09:20:00.000-06:00

More about last weekend, we had a party! It was John's mom's birthday so after we got back into town on Sunday we made some bright cupcakes and went over to celebrate with her.

I love this picture of Cannon enjoying a cupcake. He was so excited about the cupcakes! He was also so excited about the candles, he couldn't control himself (you could tell he was trying so hard) he blew out the candles twice as John lit them before we could even make it into the next room where Grandma was!

The gift list was impressive too, kid art, a Monkees album, hand lotion.......and cupcakes! (I have another great picture of my goofy mother-in-law showing off her cd but I don't have permission to post it, you'll just have to trust me that it is as hilarious as she is......wonder where her sons get their goofiness from :)

Happy World

2010-03-25T19:45:00.000-06:00

This book was a favorite of mine when I was little. I loved that I had some of these same toys, and I always thought it was so fun to play with them outside.

I came across this book when going through shelf after shelf to clear out books I'm ready to let go of (this is not one I'm willing to part with just yet). I realize it may not be a totally thrilling story line or any thing but the pictures make me so happy!

And I just wanted to share a little bit of happy today.

This past weekend...a.k.a. Jen and Dena go on a date

2010-03-25T11:56:00.000-06:00

It is almost weekend time again, how did it take me so long to post this!? Sorry for the wait Jen!

It was time for new tires on the car so that meant a trip to somewhere to get tires, so we decided an overnight family date would be fun and we went to stay with A.J. and Jen.

We all know how John feels about theaters, and about people (not much fondness for them) so when Jen suggested the boys go to a movie and we stay in and watch movies they wouldn't like John reversed the plan to be that he and A.J. could watch zombie movies at home, kids in bed and Jen and I could go out.

It was almost as big of a deal as prom! So exciting to go to a movie, no kiddos. Laughing is always fun, it is my favorite after all, and there was much laughing so I enjoyed the weekend!

The girls were pretty excited to see Spencer too. The first night we were there Spencer was playing one of the video games on the T.V. and Karissa was dancing in front of him and every minute or so would touch her nose to his and say "hi, hi, hi". So cute! And he was so patient, just kept pausing the game to tell her hi too. On the way home he said that even though the girls always wanted to be right next to him and he barely was alone all weekend he thinks they're cute and it made him happy that they were so excited to see him.

Thanks for having us over guys!

Race time!

2010-03-24T13:04:00.001-06:00

This is something that happened last week that was a pretty big deal! The Annual Pine Wood Derby for the scouts. The level of excitement in this room was crazy high! Spencer and all the other boys had a great time racing their cars and Spencer has ideas he is excited to try for his car next year.

My current reading list~March 2010

2010-03-20T14:40:00.000-06:00

I find myself going through a creative ebb and flow cycle. Right now I'm feeling a little on the down swing of things. So many ideas and a bit of excitement to get projects underway but not as much motivation for follow through. I think that is coming from a place of stress and emotional waves of highs and lows. Too much cortisol in the system is leaving me a little too drained for art-ing yet I know that if I just let myself go with the creative flow good would come out of it both in the form of art and stress relief. Funny how 'stuck' happens.

On that note, I'm reading some great books right now, these are the ones I'm still in the midst of...

'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron. I'm reading this with a group of people from the Inside Out class I recently took. The first bit is talking a lot about becoming unblocked as an artist. I think it is a little funny and ironic that I didn't feel very blocked until I started into this book. What does that say? Maybe I'm a little more aware? One of the things this book introduces is morning pages, which is similar to part of how I've journaled for years with the exception that you are not supposed to look back on morning pages right away and I've had a tendency to re-read journal pages not too long after I write. Even though free form writing finds its way into my journaling before I've had fun with this 'no thinking' writing with the morning pages.

I'm finding a bit of happy and inspiration in all the books I'm reading right now. I'm going through a bit of a philosophy kick lately so when visiting with friends last night and one mentioned her favorite book and offered me a copy of 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' by Robert M. Pirsig, I happily accepted it and started reading it this morning. I think books have a way of finding the people that need them and always say yes when someone offers me a book, for maybe I need to read it! Who knows what it'll bring into my life? And then I get to be a tool to pass it on further where the universe wants to take it. How great is that? Only a few chapters in but enjoying it so far. This may be one I decide should be a slow read as it already is one I am tempted to jot little notes on.

'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin is a book I would recommend anyone read. It is a quick easy read but with great reminders, insight and ideas to cultivate happiness in any life.

'The Pig that Wants to be Eaten' by Julian Baggini is one I'm loving! It is full of seeds to spur lengthy conversation. Good stuff.
'Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie' by Alan Bradley is a fictional mystery story that is kind of fun and 'Why Men never Remember and Women never Forget' by Marianne J. Legato is a relationship book looking at differences between the genders, so far interesting.

So tonight we're headed out of town and I'm so tempted to take this whole stack with me because who knows what I'll be in the mood to read in the car, in bed, waiting for tires to be put on my car in the morning?? But I suppose I'll narrow it down to one or 2 in hopes of packing 'light'.

Things that made me smile last week, an incomplete list

2010-03-14T14:11:00.000-06:00

~I have been blog hopping and found my 'breathe' show up here, on this post. It is kind of fun to see my stuff pop up somewhere and I wanted to share.
~This was left on my porch for me one day when I was at work. It really did brighten my day, and make me very thankful for the wonderful people who've come into my life!

~Talking books with my son. He has read some books he loves loves loves and wanted me to read them so we can talk about them. So early in the week I read Hatchet by Gary Paulsen and have had so much fun talking with Spencer about what he liked and didn't about the book.
~The beauty in spending time with people I love.
~My new phone! Finally got around to getting my phone replaced (I think John has been trying to talk me into doing this since, oh, October or so and I finally did it, and am so happy with a RED phone that works well!)
~Turning said phone of for long spans of time each day. It makes me feel free! And NOT getting messages is sometimes just a great thing!
~Snow is melting! It makes me so hopeful that it'll be all melted someday! Do you think the second weekend in April is too soon to hope for spring here? I want to have a yard sale and get rid of more more more stuff.
~A sign I saw that resonated with me that said "If you love life Life will love you back".
~People Ice Fishing that had written in ten foot letters on the snow "NO FISH" Oh, how I wish I'd had my camera with me!
~Just kissing, because it is pretty wonderful.
~A phone call from my niece Danica, just because she misses us. We miss her too! So much.
~The time change! One of my favorite days of the year! I love the longer days this change brings. John did remind me though, that back in high school we were more fond of the other time change, in the fall, when days would get shorter and dark would come earlier so it was easier to find a place to 'park'. Silly memories.

Simple Happiness

2010-03-14T12:39:00.000-06:00

I was tagged a while back by Shannon to list ten simple things that make me happy. I'm finally getting around to making my list. I found it really hard to keep to ten, I was finding many more! I also found that thinking about my happiness today is helping lift my mood a bit. Thanks Shannon!
Here goes:
1) This boy, his laughter, his company, my amazement at my luck at being his mom!

2) Gray, rainy days. I can't put into words how much I love these days! They truly lift my spirits and make me happier!

3) The mountains.

4) Connections, soul mate connections. Being known, unconditional love, giving it and receiving it, true joy. Feeling like Oregon.

5) Friends. Support, laughter, understanding, conversation, adventure. Good stuff, friendship.

6) Books! (usually in less disarray)

7) My family, and this crazy wonderful family I married into, laughter is my favorite! There's always much of that when we're together.

8) My journals, many many many over the years. Bring peace and clarity and later nostalgia and memories.

9) Funky mugs, with or without tea or coffee, for building or for drinking out of.

10) Little bits of time I take for me, the meditation, quiet and creating I allow into my day.

The idea of a tag is to tag others too, so I'm going to tag Mary Lynn, Emily, Corie, Brittney, Candice, Nicole and Stephanie, Amy and Yvonne.

My mother in law... the master of all knowledge

2010-03-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

How cool is this? My mother-in-law taught me last weekend to knit with 5, yes 5 needles. Socks! Think of all the great socks I can make now!! Before this I only knew how to knit with 2 needles. Ah, to gain knowledge... priceless. Thanks Linda!

Get the mess out!

2010-03-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

The other day I decided it was perhaps time to dig through my little console compartment between the front seats of my car. (because I was waiting in the car and boredom struck, how I got out of the house WITHOUT a book to entertain me is beyond me). So, while on the phone with a friend I emptied the whole thing. It was much like Mary Poppin's bag. I couldn't believe all the stuff jammed in there. More than pictured, much more (that pile is deeper than it looks). I found so many treasures! Not my missing pair of sunglasses though, that would have made me so giddy, but no, they're still gone. Where oh where could they be?

I thought it would be a great idea to clean the compartment out and be more organized. I threw away some stuff, returned some to their rightful homes and the rest (in my mind) was SUPPOSED to live in the console. So, still quite full but now I have a little more room to stash stuff as the need arises.

This little start made me decide I'm motivated motivated motivated to tackle the task of de-cluttering the house and getting rid of all the stuff we don't need. And think about organization in the house too. Wish me luck!

My One Small Change Updates

2010-03-03T12:02:00.001-07:00

Let's play catch up about my One Small Change for January, February and now March. I realize that I've started posts about them then not gone back to publish them because of lack of good photos. I know, silly right? I should have good photos of everything since my camera averages 100 shots taken per week. But no, no good photos. Today I decided to post anyway.

So here in January I started my changes with the resolve to take my own bags to the store. No more accumulating plastic and paper disposable ones from shopping. How'd I do? Fair. Actually pretty good, not great but pretty good. I did succeed in making 5 more bags and that has helped much, but still they have the habit of getting filled with other goodies around the house and seem too full to grab for every shopping adventure. I've realized this needs some organization and attention.

In February I decided that my change would be to not buy any more paper towels or napkins. I decided to go ahead and use the rest of what we had (which was very very little because I already didn't like the idea of them) and we made the switch to cloth napkins and using cloth towels for any cleaning and cleaning up we had to do. How'd we do? Very good. Even John likes this one, because it cuts costs, even if just by a little. We are often a house with many guests. I'm sure there will be napkins and paper towels occasionally in our future for some of these times. (at the most last summer our house held 14 adults and 18 kids for meals, with 6 of said adults and 15 of said kids sleeping over.~we have a 2 bedroom house~luckily it was summer and we put tents in the yard!) Anyway, like I said, when we have many guests I'm not opposed to napkins!

Now March, my One Small Change for March is definitely small. I decided to spend this month going out of my way to 'use what I have'. And to donate no less than 2 garbage bags a week of 'stuff'. I'm letting this reach into all the corners of our lives. We're going to use up soaps, lotions, toiletries, art supplies etc before buying any more. I also have supplies on hand to make natural soaps and lotions so instead of buying more of that after we run out I'll just make some.
Spencer has decided he'll part with 2 garbage bags full of toys and clothes over the course of the month (not each week as I'm aspiring to!) And he has gathered a large pile of his books that he is ready to go trade in at the used bookstore. We may wait a few weeks until we can make a trip to Utah for this, as a couple of the used bookstores there are ones we love!
I also have a few gifts I need to give in the next couple of months and I'm going to use fabric that I already have stashed to make them. We've started to go through closets and fill bags of stuff to get rid of. Right now my car is full of boxes and bags of clothes, toys, books and kitchen gizmos that need to be dropped off at a donation site. And no new stuff is going to come in to replace it! I feel lighter and freer just thinking of how lovely it'll be to be rid of so much clutter! And how free I'll feel not spending more money on things we don't really need right now. Wish me luck!
And good luck to you as you take on your small change this month!

Happy Birthday to my mom!

2010-03-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

We had a birthday party for my mom tonight. It was a lot of fun! Can't tell you how old she turned. Because I'm not sure. She's a little unsure about the year she was born! :)

I made Chicken Marsala for dinner and a little cupcake cake for her. We gave her flowers and books for her birthday. After dinner and singing and cake we played a bit of Blackjack. Because Grandma wanted to, and it was her birthday! So, we taught the 9 year old how to gamble. Funny. It was such a good time! I found that I am much like my dad, an eternal optimist. Always so sure I'm going to win. "I have a nineteen, do I want another card....sure~!!! The next card MUST be a 2!!" And tonight, I found that my dad plays the same way!
We did hear a funny story tonight about my parent's honeymoon to Jackpot years ago that pertains to gambling. I'll get around to sharing that story soon. Its a funny one! But for tonight I just want to say Happy Birthday to my Mom! We love you!

Happy (early) birthday David!

2010-02-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

We celebrated David's birthday a couple of weeks early because chances are, we won't see him again before then.

I love that we had to relight candles a few times for Cannon and Karissa to blow out. I love the excitement little ones bring to every occasion!

I love the laughing and calm chaos that a houseful of friends and family creates.

David's 12 favorites for the year he's turning 12 (his list, his words, his order):

1. his mp3 player (from us, happy birthday!)

2. books, especially about Greek mythology right now

3. playing board games with family

4. video games

5. hanging out with his dad

6. eating things that make his sisters want to gag

7. football

8. guns and shooting

9. a girl at school whose name he won't share

10. bookstores

11. Nickelback

12. Just being cool

We do think you are pretty cool David, we love you! Happy birthday!